The Broken and Desperate
by BellaAodh
Summary: Stories about Kit and Ty growing closer and further apart after the events of Lord of Shadows. I tied to write a romance between the two that could possibly happen in the next book as much as I could.
1. Mend Our Broken Hearts

Things had been frustrating Tiberius lately. The past few month had been overwhelming for him in particular following the death of his twin. He didn't remember much of the immediate weeks that followed, just locked rooms and waking nightmares. He could vaguely recall Julian begging him to speak to him, and Kit sleeping outside of his room, waiting for Ty to let him in. He felt like he had been breaking on the inside and his body had shut down as a result to keep everything from overloading his senses. What was worse was that the one person he wanted to talk to, needed to really, he felt the most distanced from. It was strange to have someone right outside of your door and yet unable to feel their presence. Ty wondered vaguely if that was what Kit felt like when it was him sleeping outside of his room when he first came to the institute. If he had wanted talk to him just as badly but was unable to find the words to say.

Ty didn't know why he was ignoring Kit, especially when all he wanted was to be near him. And Ty hated not knowing things, especially when it came to emotions. On some nights when the pain got to be too much and the loss of his sister felt like a knife cutting every nerve inside of him, he would lean on his side of the door trying to take comfort in the fact that Kit was on the other side listening for him. He remembered curling in on himself to feel his own body as if to reassure himself he was still there. He could hear Kit press his ear to the door as Ty slid down it, struggling to hear him.

"Ty what's wrong?"Kit asked through the door. Ty grasped his knees ignoring him trying to fight the growing need to feel the other boy's arms around him again. He didn't want him to see him like this, not again.

" Ty please open the door." Kit was sounding desperate. Ty shook his head fighting the desire to open the door and let him in. He couldn't rely on Kit to take Livvy's place, it was one thing to let his twin take care of him it was another to let Kit do it. He had always been sure that he could take care of himself, if he could just stop this pain that was shooting through him like a live wire, and the feeling that the ground underneath him was carrying him through a riptide. Ty's hands began fluttering in front of him as he tried to pull his concentration from the chaos around him, too bad it wasn't helping, and Kit was _so_ close.

"Get a grip, get a grip, get a grip." Ty kept repeating to himself turning it into a sort of mantra. He should just give in and let Kit in, if he wanted to help him then he should let him right? But he didn't.

"Please _..."_ Kit whispered.

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Hours had passed and both boys had fallen asleep lying against Ty's door. Ty's mind started to drift to consciousness, playing his dream in a weird mixture of the subconsciousness and reality.

" _...Green will mend our broken hearts._

 _Silver for the demon towers,_

 _And bronze to summon wicked powers."_

Ty awoke still listening to the words that lingered in the back of his brain. He had dreamed of a children's rhyme he had heard when he was a small, how strange he thought. As he began to shake his post sleep grogginess, his mind snapped into a startling focus. Suddenly he saw the rhyme in chilling clarity and noticed something odd. Something he was confident know one else had noticed. Suddenly, Ty jumped to his feet and opened his bedroom door, to see Kit curled up on the floor in front of his door way. Ty's heart jumped in his throat as he looked down at the boy. A wave of affection for Kit washed over him. His golden curls covering his eyes as he slept on his side, he looked peaceful and innocent, as though he didn't have nightmares every night like Ty knew he had, like he didn't constantly wear a mask to hide his insecurities about not fitting into his new life. Ty almost woke him up to tell him about his discovery, feeling more like his old self then he had felt in a while, when Kit stirred.

"LIvvy.." Kit said, his hand that was curled by his hair clenched in a fist. Ty felt a shock rock through him as he remembered that Kit and Livvy had kissed almost a year ago. He felt himself go cold, his heart dropping into his stomach. He had never told Kit or his sister that he had seen them, he had felt uncomfortable when he witnessed it and when he thought about it later it only distressed him more. Unsure of what he should say or if he should even say anything, he decided to keep it to himself. It wasn't really any of his business anyway. Ty stood unmoving for a few minutes, Kit lying at his feet, before stepping over him and leaving Kit behind.


	2. Grave Realizations

**So this takes place probably a week after the first chapter...just so ya know.**

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Her white dress was quickly stained pink as the blood spread down her front like watercolors. Kit laid sprawled on his back watching as she approached him fervently wishing he could move. Her feet were bare and stained gray from the ash that covered the ground like sand. Kit tried to struggle as she approached but his muscles wouldn't respond as if he was drugged. Finally she was standing over him quietly, the silence that followed as he waited gave rise to a swelling panic in his chest. Kit wished he could move his head even slightly to look around but all he could see was straight above him.

Kneeling by his side, she leaned over him so her face obscured his view as she smiled down at him. Kit felt tears prick his eyes staring into that face that had nothing to do with the terror he was feeling.

" You'll always be my friend right?" She said, an alarming amount of blood streamed from her mouth running down her chin and dripping down on to his face like rain. The whites of her blue green eyes began to turn pink, then blood red, spilling over her eyelashes. Kit watched unable to turn his head, out of his mind with fear.

" Friends always." His mouth moved on its own out of his control, his voice came from somewhere else as it echoed around them.

Kit gasped, waking up in a sweat. Air filled his lungs to quickly as he breathed in hard trying to catch his breath. He felt like he was trying to breath in the ash he was laying on. For a wild moment in the dark of his room he thought he hadn't woken up yet and started panicking. Kit doubled over as his lungs rejected the oxygen making him cough violently.

 _Livvy_

His eyes began to adjust to the dark, the shadows in the corner became his dresser, and he could feel that the ash underneath him was really his sheets. Calming down, his breath became more steady and soon he realized he was just waking up from a dream, and not in fact being haunted, at least not in the literal sense. Which was a terrifying possibility since he could now see ghosts. It had been over a year since Livvy had died and the only thing that had changed in his nightmares were that they now usually starred Livvy instead of his father. Kit put his face in his hands, the sweat rolling of his brow. " _Always_ " He had told her. He hadn't thought about what that had meant back then. Thinking on it now he hoped he was still honoring her friendship in someway with Ty.

Kit wasn't exactly superstitious but apart of him wondered if the dream meant anything. If it meant he was doing something wrong. He never thought before about how she had said that they would be friends, not her and her brother. Kit got out of bed, going to his dresser to change. It was still dark outside, but he didn't feel like going back to sleep to have another nightmare so he figured now was as good a time as any to get up. He got dressed slowly, running through his head the conversations he had with Livvy before she died.

When he thought about it, Livvy never really did seem comfortable with his friendship with Ty. He knew she was protective of him, but it seemed she was always trying to get him to separate his friendship with her and his relationship with Ty. Maybe it was his friendship with her brother that was wrong….

" _Dont lead him on_..." The words came back to him suddenly like a whisper in his ear. He stiffened. Kit had been bewildered at what she meant when she accused him of that, he was confused how she could possibly think his friendship with Ty was anything less than genuine. But then that's not what she said was it? Saying it like that sounded like she was implying he was letting Ty believe he was romantically interested in him.

He didn't…

He never…

Kit sat back down on his bed staring blankly in front of him, feeling like the air had been punched out of him. He couldn't even get the lie out. Kit thought back to how often he found himself staring at Ty, stealing glances, trying to make him smile, jumping in front of a stupid fairy sword for him. All the times he wanted to reach out and hold him, do anything he asked. Hell, he was ready to snap at anyone who suggested putting a rune on him before. But when Ty asked he practically asked how many? God, the first thing he thought when he was held by knife point was how beautiful he was! _Who does that?_ Who thinks wow my assailant sure does looks hot. Kit felt his cheeks burning now.

No, he never lead Ty on, just like he said. He couldn't keep lying to himself, purposely pushing it down and not thinking about it like it didn't matter. It did matter. Tiberius would always matter, even if Kit hadn't wanted to think about why.

Kit felt the heat rise in his face as he realized something truly more terrifying then the nightmares that had been plaguing him.

Had Ty noticed how he felt? Of course he had, Livvy had practically said so, and Ty noticed everything.

 _Oh no, oh no._ Kit was now gripping his hair, his elbows resting on his knees while his legs were hanging off the side of the bed. What was happening, what was he supposed to do now? Should he tell Ty? No, he would have said something if he was interested in him by now. Kit's heart sank, Ty had never seemed like he cared about romance, he was probably glad Kit had never said anything.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

 _Oh great_. Kit thought knowing exactly who was on the other side of the door.

"Kit, are you awake? Can I come in?" Ty's voice floated into the the room. Kit briefly entertained pretending to be asleep, he was definitely not ready to face Ty yet, not now.

"Kit...the lights on, do you not want me to come in?" Ty asked.

 _Well damn._

" No, you can come in Ty." He relented not wanting to make him worry. The door clicked as Ty entered the room and closed the door behind him. Kit who was laying back down on the bed, steeled himself before looking at the other boy. Kit took a deep breath and sat back up on the bed and looked up at the sixteen year old who was patiently waiting for him to give him his attention. It was like being hit over the head and seeing stars. Ty stood in the middle of his room, his hair was disheveled like he was just lying in bed, ( don't think about that, Kit cursed himself) he was wearing a black tank top that fit tightly around him and was slightly riding up his waist. He had on baggy pajamas pants he clearly got from Julian, judging by the fact that they were sliding down past his hips, like he had been consciously pulling them back up.

Kit's heart started pounding hard in his chest, not helped by the fact that he was still leaning on his shoulders on his bed to prop himself up, which would look rather suggestive to anyone who wasn't Ty. Kit hastily scrambled to sit up in a cross legged position. How could he ever have mistaken these feelings for friendship? He really hoped that Ty wouldn't notice where he was staring, especially since he was having such a hard time looking away.

" I wanted to talk to you." Ty said once he had Kit's attention.

 _Obviously_ , Kit thought, a smile tugging on his lips. Ty took a deep breath, he looked a little nervous and was fidgeting with one of the toys Julian had given him years ago.

"I've been thinking about this for awhile and I've decided.." Kits heart speed up.

"That I want you to be my parabatai." Kit's heart came to a screeching stop.

" You.. want me to be your parabatai?" Kit said slowly not processing what he said.

" You don't have to, I just thought you might." Ty said sounding alarmed at the weird tone in Kit's voice. He wasn't very good at telling tone and inflection in people's voice's and what it was supposed to mean, but he was getting use to Kit's.

There was a pounding in Kit's ears that seemed to be pulling him out of reality.

 _Right, the ultimate platonic bond._ That's what he wanted. He might as well just have said: "It's not you it's me, actually it is you, but still friends, right?" Kit wanted to say no, he wanted to lay back down and ignore Ty and go to sleep, he wanted to go back in time and kick himself for not running away when he had the chance. Suddenly he was feeling very numb and heard himself say more than speak, eerily similar to his dream.

" Is that what you want? To be my parabatai?" Not anything else? He wanted to add but clenched his jaw to keep it shut instead. Ty nodded.

" I think it's a good idea." Ty wasn't looking at him, which he usually didn't look anyone in the eyes but he normally did look _at_ him. But instead he was staring at the opposite wall, not even looking in Kit's direction. Suddenly it was all clear, why he had ignored his feelings, why it had taken him so long to confront them, and why his answer had to be what it was. Ty was all he had left, and he suspected that he was leaning on him just as much. He was the reason why he was still here and had a place to sleep at night, how could he lose that? What if his feelings made Ty uncomfortable like they surely would? Could he still be around him then? What if Ty felt obligated to try and reciprocate his feelings so he wouldn't lose him? That's what Livvy was trying to tell him. No, he couldn't do that to Ty.

"Ok then, let's do it."He said.

Because Tiberius Blackthorn was _all_ that mattered.


	3. What Lies Between Us

"You want to...what now?" Julian looked up shocked.

"We want to become parabatai." Ty repeated simply. The two teenagers we sitting on stools across the kitchen from Julian waiting for his response. He wasn't expecting this, he knew that Kit and Ty were close, inseparable really, something he had been grateful for these last few months. He knew his brother had felt guilty for not becoming Livvy's parabatai like she wanted before she died. He expected that his brother would feel like it would be a betrayal to his sister to make that commitment with someone else. But here he was sitting across from him, his mouth set in a hard line of determination, waiting for his….what blessing? Julian looked at the two sitting in front of him, his brother waiting expectantly, and Kit looking down at the counter not meeting his eyes. They really didn't look like two people who wanted to become parabatai to Julian. Then he realized it, his eyes widening half a fraction.

"No." He said, they both looked up at him, taken aback.

"What? Why not?" Ty asked incredulously. Julian sighed closing his eyes and rubbing the space between his brow. He suddenly felt much older then he was. Did he really need to explain this to them? He knew he and Emma made the same mistake, but they were twelve, and they were sixteen. Maybe he was wrong about them, reading to much into it, he never expected Ty to be romantically interested anyone. Ty was different, maybe their friendship was just different as a result.

"Why do you want to be Parabatai? He asked them. Only Ty responded, Kit looked up at his friend, he looked sick to his stomach. He definitely wasn't wrong, Julian thought to himself.

"When..when Livvy got hurt at the shadow market, back then I could have helped if I was her parabatai, Magnus even said so, I don't want to make that same mistake again with Kit. He stated, upset he had to explain what should be obvious.

"So this is about Livvy." Julian sighed. There was an uncomfortable silence that hung in the air like a weight before he continued.

" You can't become parabatai just because you're afraid Ty." He started again before Ty could argue back.

" You know the law...It's forever, you can't take it back." He looked at Kit now meeting his eyes trying to convey what he meant, he was pretty sure he understood.

"You can't make that decision for us, you know." Ty reminded him. He knew he was right but he also knew that his brother wouldn't go behind his back, or at least he hoped not.

"You asked and I said no." Julian said in his most parent voice, ending the conversation.

" Just think about this." Julian added more softly as he made to leave the room. "I'm going to check on Tavvy. Dru has been babysitting all day."

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Julian was halfway across the institute almost to Dru's bedroom when Ty caught up with him.

"Jules."

Julian turned around to face his brother, Ty had his hands in his hoodie fidgeting with something.

"Why are you against this? I want to do this." There was just a hint of desperation in Ty's voice, It broke Julian's heart. How could he not know what was going on? How did he not notice? He felt a wave of guilt sweep through him. This was his fault, losing Livvy took everything out of him, he could hardly take care of the kids after she died. And he knew, _he knew_ he was neglecting Tiberius who needed him most. He left it all to Kit, and this was the result.

Julian took a step towards his brother and placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to think of what to say to convince him without alarming him.

"I know what Kit means to you, but he's not Livvy, you can't change what happened by pretending that it's the same." He tried to sound comforting but Ty recoiled at the implication of him trying to replace his sister.

"I know he's not Livvy." He snapped back. " I don't want him to be." he added more quietly. Julian sighed, he might not know what Kit's feelings were but his brothers were pretty clear he thought to himself. Maybe he should have separated them, send Kit to the academy, something to keep Ty from getting hurt. No he couldn't do that to him, Ty would know what he did, and he would lose him forever. Thinking quickly Julian tried a different approach.

" Do you think you could do that? Carry someone else's emotions with you all the time?" Ty looked up at him.

" The bond is more than just stronger runes, Ty, you can feel what the other person feels, when they're in pain, when their scared, or angry. It's not always easy even for me sometimes. You would be feeling what he was feeling all the time and he would be feeling your emotions. Do you think you could still be there for him when he needed you?" Julian didn't say this unkindly, he knew his brother had more difficulty than others getting a handle on his emotions. It wasn't his fault he felt so strongly.

"Oh." Was all Ty said realizing his brother was right. His hands clenched and unclenched at his side, his eyes darted back and forth processing the information and the impossibility of what it meant.

"Yes, you can draw stronger runes on another with the bond, and it definitely has its advantages, but its not a guarantee. People still die, parabatai still die, and it's much worse to lose someone you have the bond with." Ty nodded numbly, in agreement, but in truth he couldn't imagine anything worse than losing Kit.

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Later that night Julian flopped himself on the bed next to Emma, his hand over his face. Emma had began sleeping in his room again, they were never intimate like they were that night in Cornwall. He just needed the comfort of her being next to him. It was strange, Livvy's death laid between them, keeping them apart and bringing them back to the normalcy they used to have, at least for now. Julian was just too tired to fight with Emma, to tired to think about the curse, to depressed to be passionate, and too scared for his other siblings to risk what could happen. For now it would do just having her lay beside him at night.

"Whats up?" She asked him curiously.

"Ty and Kit want to be parabatai."

"Oh no…" She said, making him look up at her.

" Wait you knew about them? Why didn't you tell me?" He demanded. She had known, or at least she thought she did. Ty's keen interest in Kit since he came to the institute, the way Kit stared at him when he wasn't looking.

" It's just that...it's Ty, I could have been wrong." She waved her hands defensively.

" You're not." He said sounding tired. " Do you think Kit feels the same way?" He asked letting his head fall back against the pillow.

"Yes." She said confidently, he turned to face her his eyebrows arched in a question.

" Oh, he definitely has it bad for your brother. I don't know how you missed that." She teased. Julian let out a groan.

" What am I going to do Emma? What if they start dating?" He was practically panicking now. "Maybe I should talk with them."

"Why? Have Mark do it." She said like it was obvious.

"Why Mark?" Julian was confused, he was propped up on his elbows now.

"Well, if they start having s-"

"EMMA!" He choked cutting her off bolting straight up. " I wasn't even thinking about that! I was talking about if they broke up!" Emma was trying not to laugh, the look of unadulterated horror on his face was too much for her.

"There's nothing you can really do about that. We just have to see what happens, and if it does deal with it then." She shrugged. "It's not like you can separate them just because of what might happen." She eyed him suspiciously, he remained silent staring at the ceiling.

"Jules." He stiffened, she regretted calling him his nickname immediately, but he didn't look at her.

"Of course not." Was all he said.

He closed his eyes tightly, he had no idea what he was going to do when Dru started dating. .


	4. A Change of Heart

**Soo I love this couple so much! and id like to keep writing this if anyone has any ideas or suggestions to get me that be great, afterall i dont think i can wait two more years for more kitty.**

It had been just a few days since Ty suggested they became parabatai and Julian shut them down. Kit had expected that when Ty came back from talking to Julian he would return with a triumphant smile on his face. Julian hated to deny him of anything he could help, and Ty could be incredibly stubborn when he decided something. Kit however could not have been more relieved when Ty dropped the idea. Ty had been mostly back to normal, he began resuming his daily routines, studying with Diana, attending training session, and joining the family for meals. Though, Kit had also noticed that he had been spending a lot of time in the library lately, seemingly researching something.

Kit was sitting next to Ty at a table in the library, his head laying on the desk bored out of his mind from Diana's lectures. His face was resting on an open copy of the grey book that he was supposed to be studying. Ty peered over the book he was reading and gave him a disapproving look but didn't say anything, and turned his attention back to what he was doing. Kit let his eyes drift over to the other boys face. Ty's eyes darted across the page as he read, his hair swept to the side giving Kit a rare obstructive view of his eyes. Kit tried to think of another person who had the same eyes as him, but kept coming up short of anything as captivating. Ty's brow furrowed as he concentrated crinkling, his nose slightly. There were dark circles under his eyes where he had apparently decided to research in the library rather than sleep. Suddenly Kit had an urge to reach out towards him before he realized he had already extended his hand reaching for him. Ty looked over at him, catching him off guard. Startled, Kit jumped back and almost slid out of his chair. Ty's eyes widened in alarm.

" Are you alright?" Ty cocked his head to the side.

"Yeah..I'm, uh fine." Kit was mentally kicking himself for staring.

"So, what have you been researching so much lately?" Kit asked trying to change the subject. Ty looked away and flipped through a few more pages.

"Nothing really important." He finally answered. Kit didn't really believe him, but he had never heard Ty lie before either.

"You know Sherlock is supposed to let Watson in on his cases." Kit reminded him.

"I will let you know when it's relevant." He dismissed.

"Maybe you just need a better Watson." Kit sighed giving up. Ty turned towards him and their eyes met for just a moment before Ty looked away.

"You'll always be my Watson." Ty said, his voice was suddenly soft and gentle. Kit felt his heart ache at his words.

"Why did you ask me to be Watson anyways?" He had always wondered but never really bothered to ask before.

"Because you know a whole a world that I don't, you understand criminals, and about lying, you're different than anyone else I've met, its what makes you interesting."

"So you think I'm interesting because I'm not like a Shadowhunter." Kit restated trying to understand.

" It's not that, you are a Shadowhunter, but if you decide to go through with the Clave testing you'll still be more than that you'll be….." He paused thinking for a moment.

"...Kit Rook." He said, saying Kit's old name as if that was all the explanation needed.

Kit sucked in a deep breath. The things that made him feel like he could never belong in this world, the part of himself he thought he would have to forget, who he had been, the aspects of himself he was afraid of losing to the Shadowhunters was what Ty liked about him. Somehow, despite suffering through every nightmare and every hour he spent lying awake thinking about running away, he suddenly didn't feel so alone anymore. It was like a burden he had been carrying that he never thought he could let go of was gone. Maybe there was room for that kind of Shadowhunter after all.

"Do you really think that?" He asked quietly feeling overcome with emotion.

"Of course why else would I say it?" Ty asked seriously.

"To make me feel better about myself." There was silence for a moment.

" I like who you are Kit." He said, his cheeks turning a slight pink as he looked away.

"Ty I -." Kit started before the door to the library swung open, and Julian poked his head in peering over at them.

" Kit it's time for practice, hurry up and meet me in the training room." Julian called before closing the door. Kit let out a loud groan and sunk back into his chair. Julian had been training him for a month now everyday, and Kit dreaded it every time. He wished Ty would train him sometimes, it would be less awkward, but then again imagining the two of them sparing and Ty being so close to him, moving his body into the right positions….Kit shook his head, Ty was sitting right next to him, now was not the time to be daydreaming about your best friend he chastised himself. Ty did sometimes accompany him in the training room to practice himself or to read and give him occasional constructive criticism. Lately though he had been to preoccupied and Kit was having a hard time remembering why he was bothering to go through so much trouble.

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Julian ran at Kit, a sword held above his head as he charged forward. Kit jumped backwards with an agility that still surprised him. Armed with only a small dagger Kit was beginning to feel like Julian was taking this personally. Changing tactics, Julian pivoted and slashed wide at Kit. He ducked, narrowly missing Julian's swing, becoming off balanced. As Kit stumbled Julian kicked forward knocking Kit flat on his back.

"Kit, stop evading and attack." Julian said, walking towards him lifting his sword. Julian seemed to subscribe to the school of "do or die" and Kit was pretty sure he was going to die. Julian grasped the hilt of his sword with both hands, the blade pointing down at Kit and thrusted downward. Kit rolled reflexively out of the way as the sword embedded itself in the ground where Kit had just been.

"Are you crazy? I have a dagger Julian! A _dagger!"_ While Julian pulled the sword out of the floor mat Kit jumped back to his feet just in time to prepare for Julian's next assault. Already standing close to one another Kit crouched closer to the floor and launched himself towards Julian's chest before the other boy could readjust. As Kit was about to make contact and win the match, the hilt of Julian's sword collided with the side of his head. Kit fell to his knees dropping his dagger, he grabbed the side of his head seeing colors. The pain in his head was causing his eyes to water, Kit grinded his teeth together to keep himself from snapping at Julian. His ego at losing again was hurting him more then his head right now.

"Your quick at utilizing your opportunities, I wasn't expecting that." Julian said impressed, he extended a hand to him, waiting expectantly. Kit ignored him and got to his feet, Julian let his hand fall to his side, unfazed.

"Whatever happened to learning the basics?" Kit said irritatedly, rubbing his head. Julian crossed his arms, his stele was in his weapons belt but he didn't offer Kit an iratze, letting the kid nurse his injured pride.

"You respond better under pressure, your angelic instincts kick in and you're able to learn faster. If you were younger your training would be much different. But since you're already sixteen and years behind even Dru, I figured you would want to learn as quickly as possible." Julian guessed.

"You don't have to remind me." Kit muttered to himself frustrated. Kit walked over to a bench and sat down grabbing a water bottle and taking a long swig of it. Julian joined him sitting next to him, both boys sat in silence for a few minutes, making Kit uncomfortable. Kit didn't have much of a relationship with Julian, he had developed a respect for him, sure. It was hard not to knowing everything he did and would give up for his siblings, even if he did find him a little frightening. Kit knew enough about recognizing a liar to know not to trust Julian. His calm exterior, and calculated facial expressions were a tell tale sign of a practiced con man. He had suspected though that Julian was using these training sessions to distract himself from his siblings. It was a chance to focus on something other than his problems, and he probably needed that. As the silence wore on Kit was starting to wonder if he should say something when Julian finally broke the silence.

"Ty has been talking about going to the Scholomance again." Kit's head snapped up in surprise.

"What?" Kit said confused. Julian gave Kit a sideways glance at the surprise in his voice. Julian had clearly thought Kit would have known that Ty had changed his mind, Kit didn't blame him, which made the revelation hurt even more.

"I don't know what happened, I thought he had given up on it." Julian put his head in hands, his voice was wavering with worry. Kit had never seen Julian look so vulnerable before, he definitely never thought Julian would let him see that side of him.

"What's the big deal? If he wants to go let him you know how much he wants to." Kit said more to himself then to Julian. He had no idea Ty had decided to go to the Scholomance after all. His heart sank thinking that Ty didn't even bother to tell him.

"You don't understand it's not about what he wants, don't you think I would let him if I thought he could? Do you think I like telling my brother he can't go?" Julian was sounding exasperated, Kit had a suspicion that the only other person who had ever heard him like this before was Emma.

" It is about what he wants, it's his life you can't stop him from going forever. He'll go when hes eighteen whether you like it or not." He said bitterly. _Whether I like it or not_ .

" You don't _get it_! You know Ty is different, you know how the Clave treats people who are different? What do you think they will do when he goes to the Scholomance Kit?" Julian exploded, he was on his feet pacing now. Kit just stared up at him shocked, he had never thought what might happen to Ty if he was at the mercy of the Clave without Julian's protection.

"What? What would they do?" Kit hissed, his hands were at his side clenching the edge of the bench, his knuckles turning white.

"They would exile him, send him away, they would try to change him, and when they couldn't…" Julian's voice trailed off sounding distraught. Kit felt so stupid, how could he not have realized that this would be exactly the kind of thing Shadowhunters would do. And he had encouraged him to go, without knowing what the hell he was talking about.

"Have you told him this?" Kit asked quietly.

"No I haven't." Julian sighed, collapsing back down on the bench.

"Then what are you going to do?"He asked expecting to hear a plan. Julian just looked at him.

" _I_ can't do anything."


	5. Tell Me

**So, I got one more chapter idea, after that i dont know, so if anyone has any ideas or would like to see something hit me up!**

Kit found himself pacing the hallways of the institute late that night. The moonlight was pouring through the windows in the corridor, and if Kit looked out, he would have been able to see the reflection of the moon shimmering on the surface of the ocean. But Kit didn't look out the window, he was too busy with his own thoughts thinking about what Julian wanted him to do. He imagined each step he took brought him further away from the institute, running further and further away from his racing mind and ever growing problems. He felt like he was being tied together by a loose thread that was threatening to come undone. It was like pacing down the hallways was the only thing keeping him sane. Kit stopped and gazed out a window at the ocean, and the waves that crashed gently against the beach. He thought wistfully about letting the waves carry him away to some distant land, anywhere far enough from anyone who recognized him. Away from shadowhunters, and shadow markets. But who would he be then?

Tearing his eyes away from the window, and facing reality caused him a physical pain in his chest. The truth was this was all there was left for him, all there ever would be. And that just left the problem at hand. Kit knew Julian wanted him to stop Ty from going to the Scholomance. But what was he supposed to do if his whole family couldn't convince him from going, what was Kit supposed to say to get him to change his entire life goals? He had thought once, that maybe he did change his mind for Kit, maybe. It was a stupid daydream, and now he saw how ridiculous it was to even entertain it to begin with. Thinking about Ty and how distant he had been gave Kit a new sense of purpose.

So clenching his fist, Kit decided to do the one thing he could do really. The one thing neither Julian or Diana had been able to do. Tell him the truth. Kit opened the door to the library, his eyes skipped over the shelves of books and empty tables till they found Ty. He was sitting in an armchair that was perched by a window at the far end of the room. Ty was looking out the window lost in thought. He was staring out at the same view Kit had been moments earlier. He looked up at Kit as he approached, waiting for him to take a seat next to him but Kit remained standing.

"So you're going to the Scholomance now?" Kit tried to keep the agitation out of his voice but he couldn't help it. Ty looked up at him in surprise.

"Julian told you." He said in his usual matter of fact tone that didn't indicate much emotion. This only made Kit angrier.

"Were you ever going to tell me, or were you just planning on letting Julian catch me up after you left?" Kit was trying to keep his temper but the more he thought about how easily Ty dismissed him the harder it was.

"Wait, are you mad at me?" Ty asked confused, he had never been angry with him before. Kit took deep breath trying to steady himself.

"Why didn't you tell me? Did It even matter to you if I knew?" Kit couldn't help how hurt he sounded, he was hurt, and he wondered if Ty even noticed.

"I didn't know what to say, or if it even mattered." Ty said awkwardly looking at his feet.

"You didn't know if it _mattered?_ It matters to me Ty!" Kit's voice was sounding strangled from trying to hold back, he felt like he was on the edge now. Ty looked up shocked, Kit was shaking, his fist still clenched, nails digging into his skin.

"I'm sorry, it's just something I have to do." Ty said quietly, his expression pained.

"Ty if you go the clave won't accept you! They'll try to change you or even exile you, you know that right?" Kit said. At this Ty looked up at him, his chin jutting out defiantly.

"You don't have to pretend that I'm not different Kit, I know what will happen, I can take care of myself."

"I know you're different." Kit waited to see if Ty would react, when he didn't he continued. "Ty it's not the same, you won't have Julian or anyone there-"

"I said I can take care of myself, I know everyone thinks that I can't, but I can….and I especially don't want you to think that." Ty cut him off, getting upset.

"Ty you held a knife to my throat, you think I don't know what you're capable of?" Kit almost laughed, but Ty recoiled from the statment like it was slap. Kit didn't hold a grudge about how they meet, he learned quickly that the Blackthorns would go to any lengths to protect each other, but Ty always reacted strangely whenever the subject was brought up.

"I thought we were going to be parabatai, and now you're going to just leave without saying anything, to go to the Scholomance where I can't even go!" Kit wished he bit back the words instead of yelling out his insecurities in a moment of desperation, but there they were. He was to exhausted to keep pretending he was fine, he was anything but fine anymore.

"I don't want that, to be parabatai with you. It was a stupid idea." Ty said hastily, looking down at his feet again, wincing from the harshness in Kits voice.

That's when the last thread finally broke. All the color left Kit's face, he took a step back as if to protect himself from Ty. He wanted to cry, he _actually_ wanted to cry. He wanted to scream and kick down the bookshelves, he wanted to run.

"What am I doing here." He muttered to himself, shaking his head. All this time he made himself believe Ty needed him there, but the truth was that he hardly even noticed him anymore. Of course he hadn't needed him, what could he give Ty that he didn't have? Ty who was as skilled as any shadowhunter, and smarter than anyone Kit had ever met. Ty took a hesitant step towards him but Kit backed away and ran out of the library doors.

"Kit!" Ty yelled after him, but Kit just kept running.

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Ty stood there for a few minutes to stunned to move. Should he go after him? Or should he leave him alone? Was this the sort of situation where people wanted someone to follow them or not? Ty's mind was racing, he was never any good at comforting anyone. Had he offended Kit somehow? He must have thought that Ty meant he didn't want to be friends, he concluded. Which was true, he didn't want to be just friends, that is. How had things turned out like this? In his grief he had pushed away the one person he wanted, and now he had made Kit feel alone. A panic raised within him when he realized that Kit might have finally decided to leave for good. Ty sprang into action and wasted no time sprinting down the hallway in search of him. Ty ran as fast as he could through the institute but it was as if Kit had just vanished. How long had he been just standing there? Ty flung himself into Kit's room, but there was no sign of him. Ty had forgotten to take into account Kit's training, he must have taken advantage of his new athleticism and the fact that Ty would waste time around the institute to gain more ground. Or maybe he didn't expect Ty to look for him at all, he felt his heart sink at the thought. he pulled out a stele and drew on a quick endurance rune as he head for the door, not bothering to grab any gear or call for backup, he could hardly care less about getting hurt if he could just find Kit. He had already wasted enough time and if Kit didn't go where he thought he did, he would never find him. By the Angel he hoped he was right.

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Ty panted as he came to a skidding halt at the overgrown lawn. The weeds had practically overtaken the yard growing over any path there once was. In front of him was the former house of Johnny Rook, a place no one had stepped foot in an over a year. Not since the protections around the house broke allowing a swarm of mantid demons to come through and kill the infamous Rook the Crook himself, and almost killing Kit. He suddenly felt enraged at the father who was content to stand by and watch Kit be torn apart by demons. He had heard the story of how they found Kit fighting demons alone, while his father had died after trying to save himself. He had asked Emma about it once, Kit never talked about what happened, not really. And Ty never pressed him to. He had no idea if the barriers were ever restored, or if mantid demons had taken up residence there, or some other Greater Demon claimed that honor. The thought of Kit being trapped inside with a Greater Demon or other formidable foe, sent waves of fear through Ty propelling him through the front door. Looking around wildly Ty could see the house had been torn up by the demons, pieces of floor boards was scattered around, holes were visible through the ceiling. Furniture was strewn about the room and shredded to pieces. In the back of the room was a large blood stain soaked into the wood were Johnny Rook's body had laid.

"Kit!" Ty yelled frantically his heart hammering in his chest. He knew there were still people out there who would take any opportunity to get back at Rook by hurting Kit. Ty had no idea if they would dare be here, but he would die before he let them touch Kit. Ty rounded a corner and through a doorway he saw Kit standing in the middle of a room, his back to Ty. He walked slowly into the room taking note of his surroundings. They appeared to be standing in Kit's old bedroom, torn posters of bands Ty didn't recognize decorated the walls, a simple bed and dresser were against two parallel walls, a few books laid on top of them with titles like, " _How to Lie Your Way Out of Anything"._ Even though Kit hadn't been going to mundane school for awhile, it appeared Johnny still cared about his son's education. Even if the subject matter was questionable. Lying on the floor was a few game cartridges and broken DvD's that Kit must have used in a previous life.

"Kit…" Ty said coming closer. Kit turned his head slightly to look at him, his eyes were puffy, and his nose was red as if he had been crying, but his face was dry.

"I don't know why I came here." Kit croaked, his voice was rough even though he tried to make it sound even. Ty wanted to wrap himself around the boy and hold him tightly like Kit had done for him that night on the roof. The need to be near him was always so strong it was hard to control, Kit had a gravitational pull on Ty, sucking him in. And this time he couldn't help but give in. Without another word Ty crossed the distance between them and pulled Kit into his arms. The other boy inhaled a sharp intake of breath and went rigid at the sudden contact. Worried he did something wrong, Ty was about to release his grasp when Kit relaxed leaning into him. His hands went up Ty's back gripping the back of his hoodie, his face was buried into the crook of Ty's neck making him blush.

"How did you know I would come here? I didn't even know where I was going." Kit murmured. His breath tickled Ty's neck giving him goosebumps, suddenly it was getting very hard to concentrate.

"Because I know you." He replied trying to keep his voice even. It was true, ever since he had come to the institute he had always given Kit his full attention whenever he was around, he couldn't help it, it was like every sense and nerve was wired to react at whatever Kit did, whenever he moved, or spoke it didn't matter. He was more interesting than any animal or mystery Ty had ever known. And right now he knew that Kit's heart was racing at an abnormal speed. Or was that his own?

"Kit are you ok? Your heart is beating fast." Ty pulled back to see if Kit had any wounds, and also because the close proximity to him was becoming overwhelming.

"I'm fine!...I just uh, ran here is all." Kit stammered looking nervous suddenly.

"Ok, that makes sense." Ty said. It didn't.

Kit looked around the room again, taking in what was left at the place that had been the only home he had ever known. The look in his eyes was so distant, Ty wondered what he was thinking. The threat of losing their home wasn't over for the Blackthorns, but Kit had already lost his.

"My family was different from yours, you know." Kit finally spoke, his gaze looking faraway.

"Julian really loves you, it's weird, I don't know if my dad ever loved me like that. I used to think it was enough, but now…" His voice trailed off.

"He didn't love you enough then."Ty said so fiercely that Kit looked up at him surprised. "I would never do that to you, what he did." Ty was looking at Kit straight in the eye, trying to communicate the best he could that he was serious. Kit held the eye contact for a long time before Ty finally broke it.

" I know, I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt you either." Kit said getting closer to Ty again.

"Then don't go." Ty looked embarrassed as soon as he said it but he wouldn't take it back. Kit stopped, he was still closer to him now standing just a few inches away from him. If Ty wanted he could easily pull Kit back into a hug.

"Why?" Kit asked cautiously.

"Because that would hurt me." He said, his voice was low and serious. Kit looked up, an expression on his face Ty couldn't place. Kit looked away, he seemed to be struggling with something.

"Tell me." Ty repeated back the words Kit had spoken that day from long ago knowing he would understand.

"Put your arms around me again." Kit said after a moment's hesitation. Ty nodded, and braced himself for the contact before pulling him back into his arms.

"Tighter, like you mean everything you said, I want know what it feels like." Kit said in his ear.

"Of course I meant it." Ty said softly wondering what he meant by that. But he held him as tightly as he could, giving him the pressure he often needed himself. At least this he could understand. At least he could do this much for him.

"Please don't go, I want you with me." He said his face pressed to the side of Kits head, feeling the other boys soft curls against his cheek. Kit tightened his grip around Ty as if he could somehow pull him in closer.


	6. Falling

**OK so this is the last chapter I have planned. I would like to write more but im kinda out of ideas, so if anyone wants to see me write more or have some ideas for me let me know please!**

Kit and Ty made it back to the institute before sunrise, carefully avoiding anyone realizing they were gone. Kit was glad he didn't have to explain to anyone that he and Ty had a fight and then in the middle of a breakdown he tried to runaway. The whole thing made him feel like an idiot, but then again it wasn't a complete waste. Even though nothing really happened between them, remembering the events from last night made his face flush an embarrassing shade of red. Ty chasing after him, Ty knowing where to find him, Ty comforting him…

"... _I want you with me."_

Kit shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. He couldn't think like that, he couldn't start deluding himself again. If he got his hopes up only for them to be shot down he didn't know if he could survive it. Ty only wanted him as friend, that was it, he knew this. But still, it was getting harder not to act on his feelings. An image of Livvy in white, a haunting expression on her face, a mix between sadness and rage, flashed in his mind. Startled, Kit sucked in a deep breath. The nightmares had been coming more frequently lately. Are they seeping into his waking life too now? Kit pushed the thought out of his head turning his attention back to getting breakfast.

Kit made his way down the hallway towards the institute kitchen, too early in his opinion, especially with how late he was up last night. Today was pancake day, so attendance was mandatory by all. And Kit was starting to not mind the fact that his presence was expected at the Blackthorn family table. That didn't mean he wouldn't keep up the pretense though. Rounding the corner Kit found himself in the entryway of the kitchen. Most of the Blackthorn children were already seated, Julian was at the stove flipping pancakes, Mark seemed to be busy trying to measure something (Kit wondered if Julian assigned him a pointless task to keep him out of the way seeing as the pancake batter was already mixed), Cristina was helping set the table with Kieran who was looking vaguely unsure of himself, and Emma was seated at the table already awaiting her pancakes expectantly. The sight of everyone happily chatting with one another and doing such a mundane thing like having breakfast together made Kit feel a bit conflicted somehow.

Kit walked into the kitchen with a bored look set in place as he tried not to look too eager to be there. He had always wanted a bigger family and the feeling only intensified after his father died. On the other hand, thinking that made him feel like he was giving up everything he used to know, and everything he thought he wanted just for the Blackthorns. If this past year had taught him anything it was that the cruelty of shadowhunters was not a lie. Kit took a seat at the table by Ty who had been saying something to Julian. He noticed that the seat seemed to have been left vacant for Kit specifically. Apparently everyone knew his seating preferences, he tried not to smile. Julian turned away from the stove with a frown and walked over to them with his frying pan in hand, flipping an impossibly perfect pancake onto Ty's plate.

"I'm not saying you can't go, but you still have a few more years to think about this." He said glancing over at Kit, a flicker of agitation crossing his face before looking back at his brother.

"Maybe you should be taking that time to think it over instead." Ty said pulling all the butter and syrup from the table towards him, Dru shot him an annoyed look. They were talking about the Scholomance again. Kit felt a twinge of guilt that he hadn't been able to convince Ty not to go, and a variety of other unpleasant feelings followed.

"Ty, I just don't think you should get your hopes up, the Scholomance is…" Julian looked around for his parabatai for help, Emma stared back at Julian looking equally as lost.

"Hard I know, but I can do it Jules." Ty interjected before taking a bite of his pancakes, a ridiculous amount of syrup dripping off his fork.

"And you know, I'll be there too." Kit said suddenly, staring determinedly down at the pancake he was cutting, pretending not to notice that everyone in the room was now staring at him. The room was dead silent as they stared at Kit as if he had just announced he was going to be dressing exclusively in sequined dresses and high heels from now on. Even Ty turned to face him surprised, his cheeks still full of pancakes. Kit would have found it insanely adorable if he wasn't the focus of everyone's attention making him sweat.

"What, am I not allowed to have goals?" He shrugged off their attention, trying to seem more interested in his food then his unexpected change of heart. Everyone remained silent for awhile, but when it became clear Kit wasn't going to say anything more on the subject, the chatter slowly resumed. Kit tried to sit through the rest of the meal like everything was normal, except that he couldn't keep his hands from shaking. He hadn't expected to say that, in truth he hadn't even thought about joining the Scholomance. The Scholomance was the embodiment of every bad thing he ever heard about the Clave in one. And he had just pledged himself to join them in front of everyone. He could take it back he knew, but if he was being honest If that's where Ty was going to be, then that's where he would go.

Somewhere out there Johnny Rook was rolling in his grave.

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Ty had been ecstatic about his sudden proclamation, to Kit's relief. He had started to worry that Ty might think he was being too clingy, and maybe that was why he decided not to be his parabatai. But Ty had been nothing but enthusiastic about helping Kit, and had even taken over training him for the most part. Unfortunately for Kit, Ty was a ruthless teacher. Ty had him studying the grey book during his downtime and when they weren't training, they were in the library pouring over what felt like every tome in the Blackthorn's possession. Whatever Kit might have thought having Ty train him would be like, this definitely wasn't what he was expecting. Still he couldn't really complain, he was years behind most shadowhunters his age, and had only two years to establish himself as an "elite", whatever that meant. At least his dreams were full of runes, and training techniques, instead of the dead.

Kit was sitting atop of the rafters in the training room staring down at Ty who had his arms crossed waiting on him to fall. Ty had decided it was finally time Kit learned how to fall properly, a lesson Jace Lightwood had actually tried to teach him once before. Kit had protested but Ty just insisted that he had to do it. So that's how Kit ended up clinging to the rafters in a very un-shadowhunter like manner.

" Come on Kit you can do this, step of with your knees bent then angle your shoulder to the ground and roll into the fall." He repeated for the millionth time trying to coerce Kit out of the rafters he had been unwilling to leave for the last ten minutes. Ty had even demonstrated several times (because Kit kept making him redo it to waste time) on how to fall but Kit still didn't seem convinced he wouldn't end up paralyzed. Both of them were wearing light shadowhunter gear, with considerably less weapons. Kit still felt unnatural in the armor though he couldn't help noticing how well it suited Ty, fitting closely to his body exemplifying his muscles.

Who's idea was it for Ty to train him again?

Kit took a few deep breath and pulled himself into a crouch willing himself to fall. He thought about how far behind he was and how he was sick of looking like a coward. He already decided he was going to commit to being a Shadowhunter so he just had to _do it._ And with that he let himself fall. As Kit took a step off the rafter a loose nail he hadn't noticed before snagged his pants leg lurching him forward face first towards the ground. Kit let out a yell as he plummeted downwards, Ty reacted instantly breaking into a run.

"Kit!"

But as the ground approached Kit's body reacted, twisting itself into position like a cat. Julian was right, the angel blood within him had kicked in instinctively once again like when he had fought off the mantid demons. Suddenly Ty's body collided with him before he could hit the ground catching him. Ty skidded onto the floor twisting his back to hit the ground still clutching onto Kit holding him ontop of him. Kit lifted himself up by his elbows and looked down at Ty. He was breathing hard, his eyes widened as Kit looked down at him. He was still on top of him. Somehow during the fall their fingers had become interlaced. Everything seemed to slow down for Kit when he realized how close they were. _So close._ His heart was pounding in his chest, and he could swear by the blush that crept into Ty's cheeks he could feel it. This was different then when they hugged before somehow, he knew it.

"Why did you catch me?" His voice was practically a whisper, he was too afraid that if he spoke any louder it would break whatever this was.

"I don't know, I wasn't thinking." Ty said truthfully, Kit would have been fine if he didn't catch him. He saw how he moved himself into position just like he knew he would. But when he thought of him getting hurt his body just moved on its own. He bit his lip and lowered his gaze away from Kit's face. The closeness between them was becoming unbearable, yet he wanted it still. It was irrational, like everything he'd been feeling lately. Kit let his head dip closer to Ty's, and after a moments of hesitation he let their noses brush together. He was scared that this was too much for Ty, but he didn't pull away or even turn away from him. Slowly and deliberately, Kit let go of Ty's hand, allowing him time to push him away if he wanted, and trailed his hands up his arms resting at his shoulders. Kit bent in closer, their lips inches apart, his breath fanning Ty's face.

He tried to will himself to pull back, the voice in the back of his head telling him to stop that been Livvy's seemed so far away. it was like he was under a spell. The heat rising out of their bodies keeping him bound in place. Ty closed his eyes and let out a ragged breath, and that's when Kit finally broke. He brought his lips down on Ty's, the kiss was soft but purposeful, as if Kit knew he would never get another chance. This would be his one loss of self control, the one time he let himself forget about the promises he was breaking. He just wanted Ty, just this once, to make him understand, maybe this once he would.

Electricity shot through them both, like the very first spark of life, pounding on their nerves reinforcing their senses, alerting them to every touch like it was fire. Kit pressed into the kiss losing himself in his emotions when Ty shuddered underneath him, reeling him back to reality. He pulled back to look at Ty when an image flashed in his mind. And suddenly it wasn't Ty that he was looking at but Livvy, it was that day on the beach when she had asked him to kiss her. He was back on his feet before the vision was over, Ty was looking at him dazed. The cloudy expression in his eyes fading when he realized something was wrong, he was getting to his feet when Kit stumbled back.

"I'm sorry." Kit said not sure if he was talking to Ty or Livvy anymore. Ty looked up stunned at the apology, and without another word Kit turned and left the room.

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Kit turned a corner and almost ran head first into Diana, barely stopping in time to prevent a headlong collision. Startled, she looked down at Kit, but then relaxed looking relieved to see him.

"There you are I've been looking for you." Diana was usually around now, though she still did disappear every now and then to go wherever it was she went. The Clave had allowed her to run the institute, at least in the meantime. Since the mortal sword was broken Diana was able to put her name forward, though everyone knew it was likely to only be a temporary appointment. The cohort was still looking for blood, and investigation into the L.A. institute was to be underway as soon as a new Inquisitor was appointed. It was only a matter of time. It was like they were living inside an hourglass these days, just waiting for their time to run out and their lives to be turned upside down again.

"Can this wait till later?" He asked impatiently, trying to get around her.

"It'll only take a second." She held up her hand to stop him. "Are you serious about the Scholomance?" Kit cocked an eyebrow wondering what she was getting at.

"Yes." He said slowly, his voice came out more challenging than he'd meant.

"If you're serious then you might want to reconsider going to the Shadowhunter Academy. You could get better training there then you can here, and I'm sure you could make the elite track if you wanted."

Kit had no idea what the "elite track meant" but the offer had more appeal now than it had before. He could actually train there and have a real shot at making it to the Scholomance if he went to an actual school. And he would have time away from Ty. The thought was painful, but he might have to after what he just did, maybe if he was away from him for awhile Ty could forgive him, and he could forget about his feelings. Maybe when they met again they could start over new. It felt like running away. It was all he seemed to be doing lately, and yet he still felt like he was trapped. If Ty needed that space….Space probably wasn't going to cure his Blackthorn problem but it was sure as hell better than doing nothing and being slapped in the face with it everyday.

"I'll think about it Diana." He said before walking past her. After a second he turned around again.

"And thanks." He added, feeling bad about sounding like a jerk earlier, and left in search of a room to hide in.

Kit started in a sprint as he ran down the hall trying to get to his room and lock the door behind him as soon as could. What was happening to him? Why couldn't he get Livvy out of his head? Would she really have hated seeing him and her brother together that much? What had he just done to Ty? He had way overstepped the boundaries of personal space and kissed him. Ty was always particular about being touched, Kit knew that, and yet he put himself and his stupid selfishness first.

 _God, he must hate him._

And all for what? Because he thought he loved him?

Yes because he was in love with him, Tiberius Blackthorn, and It was killing him.


	7. Melting Tensions

**Wow ook this one was originally supposed to be two chapters but It's gotten pretty long for me so now its two chapters, this is really different then what I usually do but I had fun so tell me what you think of this change in story.**

Ty had been avoiding Kit lately. After what happened he didn't know how to face the other boy. Kit had kissed him, actually kissed him, but he also ran away and apologized. Did that mean he didn't want to kiss him? He had also kissed Livvy at least once he knew. He had been trying to rack his brain to figure out what this all meant but he felt like he was missing a piece of the puzzle. He knew people didn't have to have feelings for someone to kiss them, he remembered Livvy explaining that to him once. And Ty definitely had feelings for Kit, how could he not when the world seemed to begin and end with him, and when Kit moved the ground moved with him. It had been infuriating trying to figure out his feelings on his own without Livvy, and he constantly wished he had talked to her about it when he had a chance. Thinking about it still caused a dull ache in his chest he didn't think would ever go away. Ty hardly ever felt unsure of himself, but he did with Kit. He knew there was just some things he didn't understand that others seemed to inherently, and that was always problematic, especially where the Clave was concerned. But that was their fault, not his, he always reminded himself. He also knew he could do things other couldn't, he had exceptional hand eye coordination for one, even for a Shadowhunter, he was also very observant and a quick learner making him a good detective.

And as a detective when he didn't know something he usually researched it, and this subject was something he wasn't at all familiar with. He didn't know anything about being in love really, but he was pretty sure his feelings went beyond what people usually called a "crush". So, for the sake of research, late at night when everyone was asleep Ty had taken a break from his research for Livvy, and scoured the book shelves for romance novels. He was hoping to gain some insight into his feelings and maybe what he should do, but the works of Shakespeare and Jane Austin were proving unhelpful so far. For one, Kit and him were both guys so there's that. Both Shakespear's and Austin's works usually featured high society nobles which didn't do him any good either. And all of Shakespeare's works were apparently tragedies and he didn't want to think about that outcome. The most likely solution he could think of was that Kit just didn't reciprocate his feelings. He knew he had the habit of assuming things sometimes for people and he shouldn't expect that he had feelings for him too because of what happened. After all maybe he was just trying to get over Livvy. The thought that Kit might have used him to get over his sister made him want to crumple in on himself. He had never associated pain or hurt with Kit before but now it was hard to think of him without feeling like he was bleeding on the inside.

Ty had been walking around outside of the institute, checking under rocks near the shoreline for sea life when suddenly he heard a loud cry from behind him.

"Meooooow!"

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Kit was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling thinking of how he had ruined everything in ten seconds. In ten seconds he had ruined his friendship with Ty possibly losing him. And because of those ten seconds he was facing leaving the only people he cared about. Kit had forced himself to act like everything was normal the next day refusing to add insult to injury to Ty. Not surprisingly though Ty seemed to be avoiding him instead. He decided to give him space, after all he might not want anything to do with him anymore, he couldn't really blame him. How did things get so complicated? Kit thought about leaving the institute and forgetting about Ty. Like that was possible, he could never forget him. The boy with grey eyes like cold steel, sharp and focused and dangerously beautiful. He thought about someone else taking on the role of Watson to his Sherlock and felt a shock of Jealousy run through him. He wanted nothing more then to find a mystery for Ty to solve, to see his smug smile as he saw through what no one else could. The thrill that Kit got when Ty looked at him with his intense focus like he knew everything about him and wanted more. A look that seemed to be reserved for him and no one else. Kit sighed and rolled over on his stomach covering his face with his pillow.

He was hopeless.

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Kit was almost asleep when a small knock at his door awoke him before a figure slipped inside his room closing the door behind him quietly.

"Ty?" He said sitting up, his heart sped up, what was Ty doing in his room? He never came in unannounced, something must be wrong he thought.

"Kit.." He breathed walking towards the bed, Kit's eyes widened at the other boy's breathy tone. "I need you-"

"Meow." Came a small cry in Ty's direction. Kit blinked.

"Is that a cat?" A small head with pointed ears poked itself out of Ty's hood announcing it's presence. " You have a cat."

"Actually It's a kitten." Ty corrected pulling the tiny tabby from his hood holding her out for Kit to see. Ty was indeed holding a kitten that looked to be about eight weeks old. The cat was mostly brown with dark stripes and a white tipped tail and white paws like mittens. Her eyes were large blue green ovals, over all a very cute cat. She struggled in Ty's grasp impatiently. He set her down on the floor and she immediately looked up at Ty and cried again as if she was annoyed at not being put down sooner and begin exploring the room.

"Where did you find her? It is a her right?" Kit jumped to his feet crouching next to the cat and began petting her. The kitten immediately fell to her side at his touch letting him pet her belly, purring.

"It's a her, I found her on the beach, I think someone left her there." He said frowning coming over to join him in petting her. She began to play with Ty's fingers trying to catch them with her paws and pull them to her mouth to nibble on.

"Does Julian know?" Kit peered at Ty who was smiling happily down at the kitten, he hasn't looked this happy since Livvy died, Kit thought to himself.

"No, thats why I came here, I want your help to try to hide her." Kit's eyebrows shot up, hiding anything from Julian would be impossible.

"He won't let me keep her if he finds out." He straightened up, looking at Kit now.

"Please."

Kit looked back at the kitten who had somehow mistaken her tail for his fingers and was kicking at it rapidly.

"Of course, what are we going to call her?" Like he was going to say no to him.

"Actually, I was thinking Irene." Ty said looking a little embarrassed. Kit just smiled.

" You know that's not really a cat name."

"What's a cat name then?" Ty asked

" I don't know, like misses fluffy or whiskers or something." Kit said.

"Those aren't even real names." Ty said indignantly, Kit laughed picking up the kitten.

"I should have known you would pick Irene." He gave him a warm smile that lit up his face. Ty had to turn his face away from him, when Kit smiled like that it was like looking into the sun.

"Stop fussing Irene I just want to hug you!" Kit said struggling to hold the kitten to him, this time it was Ty's turn to laugh.

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Kit and Ty soon found out that Irene had an insatiable curiosity that she did not appreciate being stifled. They had decided to keep her in Kit's room since it was less likely anyone would come in there (Ty also didn't want his stuff messed up). However this lead to some issues because Kit's room had been used as storage before he moved in. So even though it was mostly barren of personal affects there were still boxes piled around haphazardly, and corners in between that had grown cobwebs. So the boys set to work spending most of the afternoon kitten proofing the room and trying to dissuade Irene from going into tiny nooks they were afraid she would get stuck in and detaching her from the window curtains (she seemed to have an extreme prejudice against the curtains). After they were done they relaxed on Kit's bed discussing everything that could get Irene hurt making sure they had taken enough precautions.

"You don't think we need to cover the outlets do you?" Kit asked worriedly.

"I don't think so...she should be fine." Ty said, both of them falling silent.

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A few minutes later Ty and Kit had pushed all the furniture against the outlets making sure Irene couldn't get to them.

It wasn't long before they realized that although they had provided her with cat food and water they forgot about getting her a litter box. Until Irene reminded them by walking up to them and promptly stopped suddenly, her tail vibrating as she peed. Kit and Ty made a makeshift litter box out of a cardboard that had been cut in half and filled with beach sand at Ty's design. As the two tried to discreetly carry the box of sand up to the room without being seen they had not noticed a trail of sand they had left behind leading all the way up to the room. This was very confusing to Mark Blackthorn who had found the trail of sand and followed it to Kit's door. As he approached he heard voices through the door, Ty and Kit? As he approached, curious, the voices stopped suddenly. Hesitantly, he knocked on the door, there was no answer.

"Kit? Are you in there?" There was still no answer though Mark could hear some rustling behind the door.

"I wished to ask you about the sand." He tried again leaning in close to hear. This time he heard a muffled voice, Ty's, so he was there.

"Sand? I haven't seen any sand." Kit's voice called. Strange, why wasn't he opening the door to speak with him?

"Is Tiberius in there with you? May I speak to him?" There was silence again for a moment.

"He's, uh not in here, look Mark I'm kind of busy right now." Kit sounded nervous, why was he lying? Mark was getting worried now.

"Maybe, If I could just come in for a moment.."He went to try the door handle when he heard someone slam against the other side.

"No! Seriously this really isn't a good time ok?" Kit yelled frantically holding the door closed. Mark took a step away from the door surprised. There were only a small handful of things Mark could imagine that the two of them would be doing to make them so desperate to keep Mark from opening the door. Maybe he did catch them at a bad time. Though he still had no idea why there was so much sand.

"Very well, I will leave you alone then." He said suspiciously walking away from the room. A terrible misunderstanding forming in his head.

After Mark had left, Ty suggested that they get some books from the library and continue their studies so they didn't have to leave Irene alone just yet. In agreement, they both headed down to the library and retrieved two piles worth of study materials. When they returned Irene ran up to them yelling very angrily about being left alone and promptly leaped onto Ty's lap when he sat down waiting for affection. It was apparent that although Irene was adorable and affectionate she also had quite an attitude and was very vocal about it. They studied for the rest of the day to varying degrees of success. It proved difficult to focus even for Ty with a kitten leaping and playing around the room. It was amazing how the tension between the two had dissolved, returning to normal, almost anyways. It was getting late now and books and paper were spread out covering the entirety of Kit's bed from leafing through different books and taking notes. The two of them decided to call it quits for the day since Kit kept falling asleep and Irene refused to stay off the bed and was trampling the papers. Kit was picking up the books and papers finding a place to safely store them as Ty turned to leave. As he reached for the handle he stopped, putting his hand back down.

"Hey Kit?" He asked nervously.

"Whats up?" Kit said putting up a book.

"Do you think...I could stay here tonight?" Kit almost dropped the book he was holding, whipping his head around to look at Ty.

"W-what?" Kit sputtered, his hand still outstretched book in hand.

"I know I'm just going to worry about Irene all night, and It'll be easier to watch over her if were both here." Ty said matter of factly but his hands fluttered to his sides indicating he was nervous.

"Oh, yeah sure!" Kit's voice broke a little at the end sending his pitch higher, he was thankful that Ty probably wouldn't notice. Ty relaxed a smile spreading across his face.

"Great, I'll just go change." He said before leaving, giving Kit just a few minutes to prepare for spending a whole night with Ty in his bed. Taking a few deep breaths Kit got up and started pacing the room frantically trying to calm down, Irene kept trying to jump in between his feet trying to catch his pants leg. Whatever divine being was responsible for this personal torture really had it out for him he thought.

Ty had returned shortly, both of them now dressed in their respected sleepwear. Turning off the lights they both headed awkwardly under the covers without saying a word, Irene hoping on the bed as well laying at Kit's side. For some reason lying next to him in the dark it was much harder for Kit to pretend that they didn't kiss all that long ago, in fact he couldn't stop thinking about it now. He was so tired a moment ago but now he felt more awake than ever. Kit was very aware of every time Ty shifted next to him, he seemed to be having a hard time sleeping too. Was he waiting on him to say something about yesterday? Does this mean he forgave him? Kit's mind was whirling, he wanted to say something but what should he say?

"I've never had a sleepover before." Kit blurted out. Ty shifted slightly turning his head towards him, the bed wasn't very big so the space between them wasn't significant.

"Me and Livvy used to share a room, and even after that sometimes we would stay in each others rooms, if that counts." Kit turned on his side his head in his hand propped up by his elbow, they were both facing each other now.

"That counts, my dad never let me stay over anyone's house or let them come over, you could probably guess why, but it always looked fun on T.V." They were whispering for some reason, as though having the lights off required them to be quiet. Ty smiled at the sound of Kit's voice, his eyes were half lidded his long eyelashes almost brushing his cheekbones. His dark hair spilled over the pillow, Kit felt a hard lump form in his throat.

"What do people do in sleepovers on T.V.?" He asked curiously.

"Um, things like watching movies, pillow fights, tell ghost stories, spin the bottl-" Kit cut himself off his face turning red.

"Whats spin the bottle?" Ty asked his eyes looked up at him, they looked like bright moonlight in the dark.

"It's nothing, its one of those games you have to play with a group." Kit said hastily.

"Oh, like what?" Ty's interest was clearly piqued whether it was because he thought they could be fun or he was curious as to why Kit was suddenly flustered. Kit cursed himself, the only other game he could think of was seven minuets in heaven, and there was no way he was going to explain that one to Ty. He pulled his knees up slightly, brushing against Kit's. Ty was in his tank top again, the blanket pulled up to his navel, his arms rested between the two of them exposing a lot of bare skin then Kit was used to seeing on him.

"Um.." Kit tried to speak but was unable to get any words out.

"Do you think we should try them?" He asked. Kit wanted more then anything to try some of those of things, but knowing he couldn't say that he just returned the question.

"Why do you want to?" Ty knew Kit must have been lonely growing up, he never said it but the way he would talk about how he used to want a big family or sleep overs made Ty feel like he must been really alone growing up. Ty tried to imagine staying home in a basement with no siblings or friends all day waiting for a father to come home who probably wasn't much company.

"Where you lonely growing up?" Ty wondered if it was one of those questions that you weren't really supposed to ask even if it seemed harmless but Kit didn't seem offended. He looked away from him his face frowning, looking thoughtful.

"I dont know, I know I used to throw tantrums when my dad first started making me stay home all the time. But it was just my life for along time, I got used to it, I don't think I could do it again now. Not now that I know what it's like.." Kit's voice trailed off in thought like he did on the rare occasions he let himself feel vulnerable. He reached for Ty's hand unconsciously, rubbing his fingers against his hand. At first Kit didn't realize what he was doing and when he did he froze. But Ty just closed his hand around Kit's reassuringly.

"It's ok." He said softly. Kit looked up at him, a relieved smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Thanks Ty."

They fell asleep together like this, Ty holding Kit's hand, their heads falling so close together that their foreheads were almost touching.


	8. A Terrible Misunderstanding

**This is the last Irene focused chapter, also they will talk about their kiss eventually, its gonna be an important scene so ive been trying to come up with something good for it. As always tell me what you guys think!**

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For the first time in a long time Kit couldn't remember any of his dreams, just peaceful bliss. Or at least it would have been, but as it turns out kittens were very hyperactive and that hyperactivity didn't stop at night. Irene woke them up several times during the night with either her crying or just the occasional crash of something she had knocked over. Kit and Ty started taking turns on who had to get up and make sure she didn't injure herself, both of them gradually getting more and more cranky.

Ty, rolled over onto his back and groaned, his internal clock was telling him it was time to wake up. That and the light pouring in through the window. Ty blinked trying to adjust to the sunlight when he remembered where he was. In his grogginess he had almost forgotten that he was in Kit's bed, and not in fact in his own. Stiffening under the realization, he risked a peek at Kit who was curled up beside him. The light from the window lit up Kit's golden hair making him look like the classical depictions of angels Ty had read about. His curls framed his face perfectly, his lips were parted slightly, and his arm was tucked underneath his head being used as a pillow. Ty didn't think even Julian could paint something as beautiful as him. People were always comparing Kit to a younger Jace Lightwood. Ty didn't really see the comparison himself, but then again no one really compared to Kit in his mind. There was something about the way he smiled, or the way he held himself that was so intrinsically Kit. The way he guarded his expressions and how the occasional flicker of doubt would cross his face.

He looked different asleep, It wasn't often that Kit allowed himself to look so relaxed. Ty wondered if this is how Kit would look all the time if he didn't always mask his feelings. It was those brief chinks in his armor that allowed Ty to notice it was a facade. It reminded him of the first time they met. The look of shock on Kit's face as he found the knife to his throat quickly replaced with what Ty had imagined was a mirror image of his own, was it awe? Something about Kit seemed so familiar and so strangely beautiful, he remembered what Julian had once said about being in love with someone just meant that you saw them. So he let himself really look at him. Surprisingly Kit was staring back at Ty too, but this time he held the eye contact not wanting to look away just yet. Kit was glaring at him then, a normal reaction, yet Ty still felt that same pull towards the other boy, and that same unusual strike of familiarity. Ty still longed for those moments when Kit looked at him like that, without hiding his feelings.

Ty reached out a hand and gingerly shook Kit's shoulder.

"Kit, it's time to get up." He whispered, he wondered if Kit would be surprised that he was still there.

"...Ty?" He asked, his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion with his eyes still closed like he thought he was still dreaming. Ty sat up now leaning over Kit studying his face. Was something wrong? Kit turned over to lay on his back and put his hand in front of his face to block out the sun. Ty felt his heart speed up as Kit looked up at him,his blue eyes widening as he took him in, then crumbling into a pained expression.

"Are you hurt?" Ty asked confused. Kit nodded slowly not taking his eyes off of Ty. Kit reached his hand up to the collar of Ty's shirt and tugged it, pulling him down towards him. Ty leaned down when Kit's eyes focused on something past Ty's shoulder and suddenly shot straight up.

"Ty!" Kit started, but Ty already turned to see what Kit was staring at. The bedroom door was cracked open and Irene was nowhere to be seen. Both boys quickly got to their feet and scanned the room for the missing kitten coming up with nothing.

"Someone must have came in here last night." Ty's voice was neutral, but the fear on his face was plain.

Indeed someone did come into the room last night, specifically Mark Blackthorn, who was looking to talk to his brother after being unsuccessful in finding him in either his bedroom or the library. After cracking open the door just enough to peer inside, he found his brother and who he now believed was his lover, in what looked like an intimate position in the dark. Too absorbed in his dilemma over his role as a big brother he didn't notice the kitten lying in wait for her chance to escape. So Mark hurriedly left the room trying to come up with the best course of action, forgetting the door he left ajar. And Irene followed suit soon after, delighted by the chance to explore the institute. Ty and Kit poked their heads out of the crack in the door to see if anyone was around. Once the coast was clear they opened the door and stepped out into the empty corridor.

"I'll check down this way." Kit said turning to leave when Ty caught his wrist.

"I need you with me." He said impulsively. Kit flushed at the words but didn't move to remove the other boy's hand from his wrist.

"Are you sure? Wouldn't we cover more ground if we split up?"

"Yes, um, what I mean is…" Ty was trying to cover up the fact that he had just blurted out what he wanted rather than thinking it through. "If we run into a difficult situation we will need both of us there." That wasn't untrue he thought, regaining some of his composure.

"Lead the way." Kit nodded believing him, motioning Ty forward.

They crept down the corridor trying to keep quiet, Ty having marginally more success than Kit at being stealthy. As they moved down the hall a stench like burnt rubber wafted through the air burning their noses. Curiously they followed the smell to the kitchen were the source of the disaster was discovered. Mark was standing by the stove with assortment of pots and pans piled onto the stove and counters that he was trying to use, beside him was a plate that held what looked to be charred rocks. A light amount of smoke filled the room creating a hazy fog, Kit and Ty just stood in the doorway dumbfounded. Kit took a step forward when Ty flung out his arm in front of him.

"Look." Ty whispered. Kit followed Ty's gaze and froze. At Mark's feet was Irene who was trying to catch a loose strand on Mark's pants leg, darting back and forth waving her tail in the air as she posed to pounce. Mark was so busy trying to scrape something out of the pan he was using that he hadn't even noticed the kitten behind him.

"Distract Mark, I'll get Irene." Ty directed, Kit nodded and stepped over to the far right to keep Mark's attention away from Ty who was circling around him.

"Mark are you trying to cook or kill us?" Kit said getting the other boys attention. Mark looked up at him surprised, and then grinned seemingly pleased to see him. Little did Kit or Ty know that Mark was attempting to make breakfast to put the boys in a good mood for the conversation Mark had planned to have with them later.

"I'm making pancakes Christopher." He said happily.

"Don't call me Christopher." Kit dismissed quickly. " You know dying of smoke inhalation is a thing right?" Mark looked around as if he was just noticing the noxious fumes for the first time frowning.

"Well I admit it is not exactly going as planned."

"Is your spatula _melting_?" Kit narrowed his eyes at the spatula Mark was holding.

"Why yes it is." Mark held the spatula to eye level, looking confused. Ty had now managed to get Irene's attention away from Mark, her large oval eyes locked onto him, she started towards him when a sudden burst of flames erupted from the stove sending Irene skittering out into the hallway in a panic. Mark spun around slamming a pot down on top of the stove, Kit ran forward as the flames were caught underneath the pan.

"Turn it off!" He yelled, but Mark had noticed his brother crouching behind him and was now staring at him curiously. Ty quickly straightened up under his brother's gaze, Kit shoved past Mark reaching the stove and turning it off.

"Tiberius, when did you get here?"

"Seriously Mark? Julian is going to ground you." Kit asked staring at him in disbelief. "..Is that a thing he does?" Kit asked, looking to Ty.

"I'm the older brother." Mark stated confused at Kit's outburst.

"I don't think that factors in where Julian is concerned." Kit said, Ty nodding in agreement.

"Kit's right, Mark, _what did you do?_ " Julian appeared in the doorway his voice a deadly calm. Mark turned to face his little brother with childlike fear making him seem much smaller. Kit and Ty shrank back into the hallway as Julian stared down his older brother with parental disappointment.

Kit and Ty ran down the hall without waiting to see what happened to Mark. Coming upon an open room Kit and Ty skidded to halt peering inside. Emma was bending over rummaging through some dressers, beside her was a box full of an assortment of things and sitting inside was Irene. The two boys paled as they leaned into the doorway staring at the oblivious kitten. Without looking down at the box, Emma tossed a shirt that fell perfectly on top Irene covering her.

"Emma!" Kit started, seeing his chance he straightened up dragging Ty into the room. Emma turned around to face them. Ty eyed the box, but the room was too small to grab it without Emma noticing.

"What are you doing in here?" Kit asked sounding nervous, glancing back at Ty. Emma narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'm throwing out the Centurions things, what are _you two_ doing in here?" She asked suspiciously, picking up the box. Ty had a look in his eyes like he was seriously considering tackling her, sending Kit into a panic.

"I need new stuff!" Kit yelled suddenly, wrenching the box from Emma's hands.

"Your gonna…..keep the centurions stuff..Kit we can get you knew things.." Emma said speechless.

"W-why waste perfectly good things, it's just practical really.." He stammered turning his back on them and running out of the room leaving Emma staring after him.

"What's wrong with your boyfriend?" Emma rounded on Ty. Now it was his turn to stammer.

"W-what? What are you..I don't know what your talking about. He just really needs new stuff ok Emma!?" He said a little too loudly before running out the door after Kit.

Emma sighed, she wondered what Julian would have to say about this.

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When Kit and Ty had made it back to room they quickly uncovered Irene who was thankfully still in the box. The boys breathed a sigh of relief as they put the box on the ground, letting Irene scramble out of it. She appeared to be pleased to see them as she purred and rubbed up against their legs, if not though a little annoyed at being carried in a box at break neck speeds. Later that night Ty decided to return to his own room, and Kit tried to convince himself that there was no reason for him to be disappointed. There was a soft knock at the door, and without thinking assuming it was Ty, Kit answered for the visitor to come in. Kieran was the last person he expected to come through his door, but then again he was only ever expecting Ty as it was. Kieran closed the door behind him just as Irene darted towards it, regarding Kieran with angry eyes.

"Is that a kitten?" He asked confused. Kit just put his head in hands.

" Yes...just...don't tell Julian." Kit sighed, after everything they had just went through their cover was blown just like that.

"What are you doing here Kieran?" He said exasperated. Kieran shuffled his feet looking awkward, Kit raised an eyebrow, he had hardly even talked to Kieran before and now he was in his bedroom looking extremely embarrassed.

"First of all I would like to make clear that I'm only here as a favor to Mark." He said trying to regain his composure, it was odd seeing him so flustered he was usually so proud, or sulky Kit thought.

"For Mark? Why?" Kieran took a deep breath and plunged on looking annoyed.

"He thought it would be best if I talked to you about your relationship with his brother Tiberius instead of himself." He said finally looking at Kit. Kit froze all the color draining from his face.

"Why, why would he do that?" Was all Kit could say.

"Because talking about intercourse with your lover's brother-" Kit jumped to his feet running his hands through his hair cutting him off.

"Whoa, whoa! Were not! Were not like that!" Kit said waving his hands in front of himself.

"You're not?" Kieran asked confused.

"I mean we- nevermind!" He shook his head violently trying to get the image of their kiss out of his head. Kieran's natural arrogant expression returned to his face as he took in the sight of Kit flushed and embarrassed, a smirk spreading across his face.

"Then tell me little Nephilim, why are you blushing?"

"Because you're accusing me of doing things- with my bestfriend!" Kit sputtered.

"Accusing?" Is there something wrong with it?" Kieran's tone sharpened.

"Of course not. Don't be stupid, it's just that, it's not like that." Kit looked away, afraid his feelings were written all over his face.

"But you wish it was so." Kieran said more softly. Kit swallowed back a strangled noise that tried to escape the back of his throat, not trusting himself to speak.

"Why not tell him then?"

"I can't, I just can't Kieran, he can't know." Kit's voice came out rough like sandpaper from holding back his emotions. Kieran's eyes widened in alarm.

"That may be a problem." He said slowly. Kit raised his eyes to meet Kieran's, a deadly focus to them now.

"Why?" He said through gritted teeth.

"Because Mark is talking with him right now."

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Kit slammed open the door to Ty's room, fury in his eyes, he was going to kill Mark. Mark and Ty spun around to look at Kit bewildered. Kit marched into the room and pointed at Mark.

"Out now." He said trying to keep his voice steady, Mark hesitated till he saw Kieran behind Kit motioning him towards him. Mark nodded at them and with one last glance at Ty left the room. Kit closed the door behind them and took a deep breath.

"Listen Ty, about what Mark was saying.."Ty interrupted him before he could finish as though he hadn't even heard him.

"You're going to the academy?"


	9. The Sound of Winter

**Ok, so this is a big turning point in the story, i typically dont like divulging too much from what will probably be canon but their story needs to progress if i continue writing this so hopefully its still fun and enjoyable...and the song Kit sings is The Sound of Winter by Bush which i definitely recommend listening to while reading this.**

"What?" Kit said stupidly looking at Ty blankly.

"You're going to the academy, in Idris?" Ty just repeated instead of being annoyed like Kit might have been.

"I was thinking about it."Kit wasn't sure if he should be grateful the conversation wasn't going the way he thought or not.

" I thought you were going to the Scholomance." Ty was playing with a pipe cleaner he had in his hands and staring at it.

"I am! I just thought it would be easier to get in if I got formal training at the academy." He said quickly. Ty looked like he was considering this for a moment.

"It does take a lot of effort to train you." Kit would have smiled at that if Ty wasn't looking so serious.

" And afterwards I would still go to the Scholomance if I got in, I just thought... it might be for the best, considering everything." He couldn't bring himself to look at Ty as he said it, so he tried a weak smile instead, running his hand through his hair. Ty stood up abruptly and headed towards the door, as he reached the door he hesitated for a moment.

"I want to be alone for awhile." And without a second glance he left the room leaving Kit alone.

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The irony of the situation wasn't lost on Kit as he thought back to their first argument over Ty keeping his decision to go to the Scholomance a secret. Kit sat alone in the darkness of his friends bed, his head hung in defeat. Everything he did to preserve his relationship with Ty only seemed to drive them apart further. Was it really so impossible to stay with the Blackthorns? Or would he have to give up another home already? It was even harder now to remember the days he spent with Ty and Livvy knowing that they were already becoming a distant memory. Maybe it was time to give in and let go, how much longer was he going to make a fool of himself? He reached for his memory of Livvy now, it's funny how remembering his friend brought him pain instead of comfort. All those words left unsaid between them was all he seemed to have left of her, and he let them get twisted and corrupted in his mind as a way to escape his feelings for Ty. In the end was he just avoiding dealing with her death by convincing himself he could fill in the blanks of where they left off?

The truth was he will never know what Livvy's words had meant back then, or how she would have reacted to his feelings about her brother. He would never know, and not accepting that was only hurting Ty and himself. Livvy was his friend, someone important he will never get back, even if it was unfair how little time he had with her. If he really wanted to respect her memory he needed to stop turning her into some phantom that haunted him. And to do this he just needed to accept the way things were.

Kit let his grief wash through him, and felt himself let go of the ghost he had conjured up to torture him. And instead replaced it with Livvy smiling, Livvy with her brother comforting him, Livvy defending him on the steps of the institute. That was the real Livvy, fierce sunlight, and brimming with love and loyalty. Not the nightmarish phantom leaving so much pain in her wake. No, Kit wouldn't remember her like that anymore. Kit stood up, a huge weight being lifted off of him and decided he had to do one last thing. He was not going to let Ty just walk out of his life. Kit walked down the halls looking for Ty, but he was nowhere to be found even in the library. Finally, Kit decided to check the roof, if he was upset this was were he was likely to be. Kit stepped out onto the roof feeling the breeze from the sea lift his hair from his face, tasting the salt in the air. It was pretty clear from a first glance around that Ty was not here. Kit let out a sigh as he stared out at the stars that shone above the institute, it was getting pretty late.

Kit made to turn around when a guttural unearthly sound in the distance made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Kit ran to the edge of the roof and peered down at the beach in search of the noise. What he saw made his whole body go cold. On the shore was a large demon with what looked like tentacles that lashed out trying to grab ahold of a boy, who was unmistakably Ty, and drag him into the water. Ty wasn't in gear, he had no new runes, he didn't even have his head phones on, all he had was a seraph blade he was brandishing in front of him barely keeping the massive creature at bay. His face was twisted, his mouth in a thin line, sweat beaded down his brow from the mental strain of trying to focus through the noise of battle. His seraph blade slashed at the creature as a tentacle shot out for his throat. The demon reared up roaring in pain, causing Ty to wince from the sound stumbling backwards.  
Kit unfroze taking out his stele, looking down at the long drop from the roof to the ground. It was an impossible fall, but Kit scribbled on a rune he hoped would prevent him from breaking his neck, as he stepped onto the ledge. And without the hesitation he had when he was in the rafters, Kit leaped falling hard and fast towards the ground. Kit hit the ground in a crouch, pain rocketing through his legs, but he didn't have time to process it as he pushed his legs to run forward down the beach after Ty. As he ran he started throwing rocks at the creature, suddenly aware he didn't have a weapon. Ty spun around to see Kit charging towards him, slightly limping and weaponless, chucking rocks at the monster. The demon turned towards Kit, at least he thought it did, the small black ovals on the side of its huge round body made it hard to tell. The thing, moved its tentacles to the base of its body and sprung itself forward towards Kit with a sudden unexpected speed. Kit jumped upwards over the creature, channeling his training sessions with Julian, and slamming onto it's back, almost tumbling off of it. Kit slammed the the edged rock he had grasped in both hands into the back of the Demon, giving himself something to steady himself on. The demon whirled as the edged rock buried into its skin rearing up, flinging Kit onto the ground as the demon turned and rolled ontop of him.

Kit screamed as the demons weight pressed down on top of him, crushing down on his bones with so much pressure he was sure they would cave in. A second later the weight disappeared and was replaced with a mass of hot liquid. At first he thought it was his blood but quickly realized it was the remains of the demon instead melting away on top of him.

"Kit!" Ty yelled as he flung himself next to him, doping his seraph blade. Kit tired to lift himself off of the sand but was met with more pain forcing him back down on the ground.

"Urrgh!" As he opened his mouth to try to speak, a spurt of blood sprayed out, discoloring his shirt and spattering his skin. Ty frantically grabbed at his stele and with shaky hands lifted Kits shirt and traced an iratze.

"This can't be happening again, please Kit." Ty begged as the iratze faded as soon it was it finished. He tried again this time closer to Kit's heart, he couldn't tell where Kit was injured, he might have a few broken bones or an organ might be punctured. Tears slipped past his eyes as he retraced the iratze again and again, he didn't even know if it was fading he just kept retracing it over and over praying to anyone and anything that would listen. He already lost Livvy, he couldn't lose Kit, not Kit who had woven himself so seamlessly into his life like he believed no one ever would. Not the boy who had made him fall in love with him so effortlessly. He would have died for him, it wasn't fair that Kit would die for him instead.

Ty buried his head in Kit's chest as his hand shaking too hard to hold the stele and dropped it. His whole body shook now as he grasped Kit's shirt, the waves crashing around them had become almost deafening to his ears. The grief, the sound, the panic, it was all starting to make him nauseated. Kit's hands found themselves wrapped around the back of Ty's neck as he finally managed to pull himself up to a sitting position, the iratze finally taking affect.

"Ty, Ty...it's alright..i'm alright." Kit whispered to him, searching his face, he was still shaking underneath his hands.

"It's not.." Is all he could get out, shaking violently. Kit looked around the beach searching for Ty's headphones, they must have fallen off somewhere."Where are you headphones?" Kit asked knowing the beach with its crashing waves and strong winds was probably not helping any sensory overload he might have been feeling. It was too dark to see at any real distance and who knows how far away they could be? And Ty, sitting there immovable, needed them now. Kit took a deep breath, his heart was pounding now, for some reason this was more nerve racking then jumping off the roof of the institute.

" Ok...I'm going to try something..just tell me if you don't like it." Kit said quietly, he moved closer to him now, his next words coming out as almost a whisper but growing more bolder as he went, his voice was rough but still it had a melody to it that caught Ty's attention. Kit covered Ty's ears to block out as much excess sound as he softly sang:

" _Mind strong, body strong_

 _Try to find equilibrium_

 _Head straight, screwed on_

 _Been screwed up for too long.."_

Ty's shaking slowed as he focused on Kit's voice, the way it dipped and raised with the melody, how his voice strengthened and became more solid after being uneven at first. Ty moved his head forward resting it against Kit's, feeling Kit's hair on his face. When they touched Kit paused for second, his breath coming out uneven, brushing Ty's face, until he remembered what he was doing. Ty relaxed, closing his eyes and focused on the words this time as his voice picked up again:

" _Lets walk through the fire together_

 _Disappear in the golden sands_

 _It's all in your face, I see you break._

 _It's like the sound of winter_

 _The bleeding love, The silent escape_

 _You've got to hang on to yourself_

 _It's like the sound of winter..."_

Ty wondered to himself why Kit chose this song to sing, did it have special meaning to him? Did it have some meaning to them? Ty didn't know the answer but his thoughts just kept coming back to one thing. _I know I said I understood that you might be temporary, but I'm not ok with that anymore._ He wondered if he should say that out loud but the last words Kit sang as the song came to a close caught his attention again:

"... _Love bites and recompense_

 _I'll be with you until the end."_

 _8888888888888888888_

A few days later Kit was packed and ready to go to the Academy, not that he needed much packing to begin with. He wasn't sure he could say goodbye to the Blackthorn's either, especially Ty even if this was his idea. Kit had decided not to go to the academy after Ty had saved his life that night on the beach, but Ty surprised him telling him it was his best chance to get into the Scholomance. Kit hated it, but he was right, he had to go if he ever had any hope of keeping up with Ty. Julian had found out about Irene too after bursting into Kit's room one night probably expecting Ty to be harboring a snake instead of a cute kitten (something Kit had learned Ty used to do when he little). Julian was so relieved that the secret pet was neither venomous or feral he agreed almost immediately to let Ty keep her.

Kit had asked Diana to meet him in the entrance hall early that morning before the others were awake so he could leave without saying good bye. But to his surprise all the Blackthorns as well as Cristina and Emma were gathered in the hall waiting for him, each of them smiling at him. He didn't know why this surprised him so much, he should have known they would want to send off. Yet seeing them there waiting for him touched him. Maybe he was still afraid after all this time to let them feel like family. Now more than ever he wanted to stay, to turn back around to his room and unpack, to make a joke to Emma that it had all been a prank and tell Julian he had been slacking off at training him. He would smile conspiratory at Cristina and show Dru all of his favorite horror movies, he would even run up and hug Tavvy and threaten to tickle him. Then finally he would make Ty sit down with him and read him every Sherlock Holmes story ever written. He had no idea how many there were but he was sure Ty had them all. Angry tears pricked the back of his eyes as he rounded on Diana.

" _Really Diana?_ I say I want to leave without the fan flare so you organize a whole going away ceremony? _"_ Diana just scoffed at Kit still smiling.

"I didn't tell them anything, they all came out here to see you off on their own." She said making Kit blush.

"Believe it or not kid were going to miss you." Julian said clasping a hand on Kit's shoulder with an affection that surprised Kit, maybe even Julian.

"Maybe i'll visit and we can wreck some havoc Carstairs and Herondale style." Emma winked at him.

"You can always come back as well, they will not force you to stay." Mark told him, knowing full well how much it meant to have a place to come back to. To have a home.

" And we are expecting you to write to us Kit." Cristina added warmly. Kit didn't know what to say, or if he could ever put into words how much that they were here with him right now meant to him.

"It's not like i'm going to college, it's just two years. You guys are seriously the most overly attached family." Kit tried but he couldn't keep up the sarcasm and smiled before making his way over to the doors. As he made his way past them, each one of them trying to pull him into a hug or give him a handshake (Mark), standing in front of the door was Ty. He looked up at Kit meeting his eyes and gave him a rare and dazzling smile that Kit returned.

"Watson."

"Sherlock."


	10. A Study In Green

**Ok so I think this fic might finally be coming to an end soon, so if anyone has something they would like to see or suggestions let me know!**

It had been two years since Kit had last seen Ty, and two years since he came to the Academy to train to become a Centurion. A thought he still hadn't quite rationalized. He had written to Ty a few times, but not as often as he probably should have. But what was he supposed to say that would interest him? He doubted he would care about how many pushups he did or how many miles he ran. Ty would always respond with an equally short letter, though Kit thought that was probably just how Ty wrote, short and to the point. When he graduated he only wrote two letters one to Ty, and one to Jace. He didn't really want to write the latter but he knew Jace would find out eventually, and probably show up at the Academy in an annoyingly showy fashion just to embarrass Kit for not telling him. So with that in mind he penned a letter to the only relative he had, and sometimes wished he didn't have.

The letter he had received back from Ty was even shorter than any of his previous ones but what it said made him re-read it several times over the past few weeks:

 _ **Ok, I'll be there in a few weeks. I'll let you know when I know more, Julian is being difficult.**_

 _ **-Tiberius Blackthorn**_

Kit had always planned on seeing Ty again, that was the whole point of going to this stupid school to begin with, so they could join the Scholomance together. Yet somehow after so long the idea of him being here seemed too real. Kit's hands always got sweaty when he read the letter, and now that he was arriving today Kit couldn't get his heart to calm down. He had hoped that over time maybe the distance would lessen his feelings for Ty somehow, even just a little bit. But judging how his heart was trying to leap out of his chest as he looked at the time, that didn't seem to happen.

It was almost time, Kit took a deep breath, this was supposed to be a fresh start for them he told himself. Without any other reason to stick around Kit finally left his room heading to the staircase that lead to the first floor of the academy. Kit started to take the first steps down the staircase when he looked up from his feet and stopped. Tiberius Blackthorn was standing in the lobby of the institute just a few feet from the bottom of the stairs. He looked older, Ty was always handsome but now the maturity that could be found in his face was guaranteed to get him a few stares. His grey eyes and dark brows framed his expression giving him an attractive mysterious distance about himself. His hair was combed and brushed back, a few dark strands falling loose, making him look like a Victorian gentleman. A few girls who had been passing in the hallway stopped to stare, undoubtedly wondering who the handsome stranger was, if he was here to stay and of course more importantly, does he have a girlfriend?

Ty was well dressed, in a dark button up shirt, dress pants, and a pinstriped vest, no doubt Julian's doing. He was holding a suitcase that Kit knew was full of his hoodies and sweaters and would bet he would be back in his usual attire by tomorrow. Kit swallowed, what should he do now? Kit felt himself freeze, should he say something or just walk up to him? Kit hadn't thought that far ahead of what he would do when he actually saw Ty again. Kit didn't have too long to consider this however, because Ty noticed him there as if he could sense him, and looked up at him. Ty glanced over Kit, a look of surprise registering on his face as he saw the changes in Kit that the last two years had brought him, looked away and smiled widely. Kit smiled in return and descended the stairs towards him, feeling the familiarity return to matter how many years had passed it was still Ty afterall.

"I still can't believe Julian let you come." Kit said grinning stupidly, he couldn't seem to stop now and his cheeks were starting to hurt as a result.

"He almost didn't." Ty answered smiling back, the happiness between the two was infectious and Kit was sure that anyone looking at them could see it.

"I know." Kit laughed holding up a letter for Ty to read from Julian he had received. Ty's eyes narrowed as he read the contents:

 **Kit,**

 **I'm letting Ty go, but consider this your formal warning that if you get him in any trouble not even Ty will be able to identify your body.**

 **I'm trusting you,**

 **Except not really,**

 **-Julian**

 **P.S. Congrats on graduating.**

Ty was still staring at the letter concerned but Kit just laughed it off.

"I think he just didn't know how to congratulate me." He said waving for Ty to follow him up the stairs. " Come on let's find a room for you, I think there's an empty one next to mine if you want it."

888888888888888888888

Ty decided to take the room next to Kit, to his delight, and Ty began to unpack immediately while Kit lounged on the bed watching him. The urge to pull Ty on top of him and press him tightly to him was almost overwhelming, Kit felt his muscles twitch whenever Ty moved closer with the desire to reach for him. The voice that was the incarnation of his grief for Livvy had now been replaced with a new voice. A voice that urged him to go for it and to damn the consequences, a voice Kit tried to tuck a way to the back of his mind. There was no point in listening to it, at least for now, he thought. Ty looked up from his suitcase and studied the room with a thoughtful expression.

"The rooms are quite nice here, I heard the Academy was still in a state of disrepair." He said, making Kit snort.

"That's because you haven't seen the dregs bedrooms, I swear there's a slime demon down there and the smell is God awful." Ty's head whipped around in excitement, a familiar gleam in his eyes.

"There's a slime demon in the Academy? Should we go find it?" Kit figured he should tell Ty that he was joking and that there was no way there was an actual demon in the Academy, but if Ty wanted to hunt down an imaginary demon then that was what they were gonna do.

888888888888888888

Ty was standing on a small end table in the corner of the room as he examined some green mold that was growing on the ceiling in dark spots. Kit watched as Ty plucked a few pieces of mold from the ceiling as he examined it, crumbling it between his fingers. Ty's face broke into a brilliant smile as he let the mold fall to the floor.

"It's definitely a demon." He said straightening up, a confident smirk placed on his face as it did when he solved a mystery no one else had.

"I'm sorry what?" Kit said caught off guard. "You think there's actually a demon here?"

"Yes, or I wouldn't have said that there was a demon." Ty said defensively.

"No, I mean- but how is there a demon in the _Shadowhunter_ Academy without anyone knowing?" Kit said quickly. Ty hopped off the table and looked back up at the ceiling analyzing the mold.

"It's a sort of fungal demon, it can split itself into as many parts as it wants and disguise itself as mold. Their not that common so it's easy to miss if you don't know what you're looking for." He explained. "But why hasn't anyone else been looking for it." He wondered out loud.

"They don't seem to really care about the students down here, and even if they did, not many people are as smart as you." Kit took a step closer to some of the mold on the ground. He had never even heard of fungal demons and he had been studying non stop the last two years. Ty turned his face away at Kit's words trying to hide the flush that was creeping into his skin.

"So, how are we gonna catch it?" Kit turned to look over at Ty, a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

8888888888888888

Kit laid down the last slice of bread they had stolen from the kitchen completing their bread trail that lead all the way down one of the Academy's empty wings. Ty and Kit scrambled around a corner and crouched behind the wall peering over the side watching their bread trail.

"Do you think this will work?" Kit asked staring out at the empty hallway.

" This area has a high concentration of mold, it's likely that the main body is somewhere here, and if it is it should be attracted to the bread." Ty looked thoughtfully around at the massive clumps of slimy mold. The two sat there in silence for a time watching the hallway expectantly but nothing happend.

"But it is a demon, maybe it needs more motivation than just bread to come out of hiding." Kit said finally. Ty's eyebrows shot up and the corners of his mouth turned down as he thought.

"Hmm, it acts like a fungus, that's why I thought of the bread…" He trailed off.

"Because it decomposes and feeds off it.." Kit finished his sentence keeping pace.

"...But some demons feed off humanity, absorbing their happiness.." Ty nodded his head in Kit's direction.

"Like the dregs...everyone down there is miserable...what if.. What if it's because of more than just the crappy living conditions!" Kit realized looking over at Ty excitedly, his heart jumping when he saw Ty smiling at him pleased with his conclusion. " So what do we need to do then?"

" We need to be happy, happier anyways so it cant resist trying to attack." Ty answered, both of them staring at each other unsure of what they should do next, a long moment of silence spreading out between them.

"You've changed you know." Ty said looking Kit up and down.

"That tends to happen over time." Kit gave him a wry smile.

" I just hope not too much." Ty said quietly looking down at the floor. Something in his voice caught Kit's attention and he reached out grabbing Ty's wrist.

"Ty I'm glad you're here...I.." Kit struggled to find the right words. " All of this wouldn't mean anything If I couldn't see you again. If you weren't here with me." Ty's face was turned down his hair falling loose, his eyes peering up at Kit shyly.

"You didn't do all of this just for me, did you?" He asked as if he was afraid of what Kit might say.

"No, not exactly." And Kit was surprised to find that it was the truth. Ty had been his main motivation for joining the Academy, and the reason he believed that Shadowhunters could be good people. So in a sense he was here because of him, but he was also doing this for himself.

" You were right when you said it was in my blood, it just feels right, and after feeling that I can't ignore it. So if I was going to be a Shadowhunter then I wanted to do it right, if that makes sense." Kit tried to explain as he watched as Ty took in the information relaxing a little bit. " But I also want to be a Shadowhunter with you." He added softly, moving his hand down to take Ty's hand squeezing it the way he remembered Ty found comforting. Ty turned over Kit's hand feeling the grooves of his hands and tracing the lines.

"Do you promise to stay by my side?" He said. If Kit had thought about it he would have realized how strange this question was coming from Ty. He should have realized something was wrong, but he was too preoccupied with reassuring him to think about it and quickly answered him.

"Of course." He said feeling his heartache for the other boy at the question.

"No matter what?"

"No matter what." Kit returned fiercely, knowing nothing could convince him to give Ty up now that he finally got him back. Ty let out a sigh of relief and closed his eyes laying back against the wall, Kit following suit. Ty took the headphones that were wrapped around his neck and placed an earbud into his ear and offered one to Kit. Kit took the earpiece placing it in his ear and was immediately surprised that he recognized the song that Ty was playing.

"...This is The Sound of Winter?" Kit said surprised, knowing that Ty listened to classical music almost exclusively, finding it less distracting than music with lyrics.

" I downloaded it after you left, I listened to it a lot since then. It reminded me of you." Ty said smiling to himself like he had a secret he had not yet let Kit in on. Kit felt himself turn red as he remembered that night he had sang this song to Ty on the beach. He had no idea if it was a good idea at the time, he was just desperate to help him trying frantically think of something he could do. The idea that Ty had downloaded this song to listen to when he missed him made Kit feel ridiculously happy. Kit leaned his head back closing his eyes listening to the song, feeling Ty's hand in his. He was sure he was grinning like an idiot but he didn't care. This moment was perfect, he doubted anything in his life could be so perfect again. Nothing could ruin this.

Except maybe a slime demon.

Kit suddenly felt himself grow cold, a sense of dread overtaking him, but it was Ty who reacted first springing to his feet with Kit following soon afterwards. The mold was dropping from the ceiling pooling together, coagulating to form a disgusting giant blob of slime. It was like something out of cartoon Kit had watched but the result was less intimidating or comical and just...gross. Ty turned to look over at Kit, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Let's see what you can do."

Kit smirked, he wasn't going to miss an opportunity to impress Ty now. Kit drew out his throwing knives from his weapons belt and flung four of them at the creature, each one of them hitting the target. The knives stuck, ichor leaking from its body, then suddenly the knives were sucked inwards and then propelled outwards flying in all directions. Kit and Ty ducked, Kit charging forward brandishing two seraph blades.

" _Nekir, Adriel._ " He said as he propelled himself in the air. The blades blazing to life as he twisted them downwards landing on top of the demon sinking the blades into the slime. The creature exploded apart dousing Kit in burning ichor and slime as it spread apart into pieces. Suddenly Kit was splashed with another liquid as he turned to look at Ty who had in his hand a now empty bottle of holy water Kit didn't know he had. The remains of the demon squalled in a high pitch tone as it writhed and sizzled into nonexistence from the holy water that now soaked the ground underneath them.

"What the hell is this?" An all too familiar voice said, Kit's teeth grinded together at the sound.

"Herondale what the hell is going on here?" Scarsbury said bewildered, looking around at the slime and weapon brandishing teens. Kit felt his eye twitch at the sound of his last name.

" It's a demon, I imagine you've heard of them?" Kit said irritably, there goes his good mood. Ty was looking from Scarsbury to Kit with sharp focus, probably trying to decipher Kit's sudden change in tone.

" A demon...in the Academy?" He sputtered looking astonished.

" It was a fungal demon, it's been disguising itself as mold, we just needed to lure it out." Ty explained, walking to stand next to Kit. Scarsbury now looked at Ty as if noticing him for the first time.

"Ah, right you're Scholomance applicants. Looks like you might actually make something of yourself after all Herondale. Other than just clinging to the coattails of your name." Kit glared. He had gotten on the bad side of most of his teachers, and students. Just because he had to train to become a centurion here didn't mean he had to act like he liked any of them. Scarsbury had a reputation for being prejudice against the mundane students, Kit instantly hated him. Ty looked angry now and opened his mouth to say something before Kit cut him off. No need to let Ty get on their bad side too.

"At least my name doesn't sound like an infected wound. Seriously what is a Scarsbury supposed to be? A moldy pastry? Or some kind of congenital disease?" Scarsbury's face contorted in anger changing into a purplish color. Kit smiled.

A woman with blue skin and white hair strided onto the scene, Kit relaxed a fraction as Catarina made her way to them, stepping on the bits of demon with a sickeningly squelch. Kit had always been more comfortable around downloaders then Nephilim, and Catarina wasent as delusional about the Clave as most people here, so they had gotten along. It also helped that she seemed to have a soft spot for him, though Kit might have just been imagining that.

" I'll take care of them Delaney, you might want to inform the Dean." Catarina said waving Scarsbury away, who Kit suspected only left because he was so angry he forgot how to speak. Or how to breath, judging by the deep shades of purple he was turning.

"So I take it this is Tiberius Blackthorn come to join the Scholomance with you?" She said fixing her gaze on Ty who was not meeting her eyes, as usual for him. She seemed to consider him for a second but didn't comment. Kit was busy trying in vain to wipe off the slime from his clothes and hair.

" I think we got a good chance considering that a whole academy full of Shadowhunters didn't realize there was a demon living under the same roof except for us." Kit said.

"Except for me." Ty corrected rolling his eyes.

"Right, except for you." Kit grinned. "But I like to think I was an invaluable help."

"That's why you're Watson." Ty said grinning now too. Catarina watched the two boys smiling at each other and let out an uncomfortable cough bringing them back to reality.

"If you two are so inclined to stick together, and be a Sherlock and Watson duo (Ty's eyes lit up at the mention of Sherlock) then why not become parabatai?" She asked genuinely curious. Kit and Ty both looked up at her and then looked at each other, both of them wearing an equally pale expression at the topic they had both so carefully avoided.

"Thats not…"

" We decided not to…

"It's just…" They both tried, tripping over each other's words before Catarina motioned for them to stop.

"Alright I get it, forget I asked. You two should be headed to bed, testing for the Scholomance will begin shortly and you will want to be well rested."

"What about the demon?" Kit asked.

"I'll make sure you get credit and the Scholomance knows about it." She said, her expression softened, it looked almost sad for some reason, though Kit couldn't understand why, as they retreated from the hallway.

Kit and Ty headed back up to their rooms in silence, a question nagging in the back of their heads.

"Do you...regret that we didn't become parabatai?" Ty finally asked.

"No." Kit answered immediately. _Shit,_ he thought realizing he answered without thinking.

"I just don't think it would be a good idea for us." Ty was looking a bit frustrated as he tried to find the right words to describe what he meant, his fingers flexing and clenching at his side. Kit wasn't sure what to say, he knew why he didn't want to be parabatai, but now wasn't the time to bring that up. Not now when he was feeling happier than he had in two years, he couldn't let the night end like this when he had been waiting for this for so long.

"Hey, do you remember what Sherlock Holmes story I was on?" Kit asked remembering the days when the two of them would lay around the institute and Ty would read out his favorite parts to Kit. Kit would get confused because Ty's favorite parts tended to be a climactic revelation to a mystery that Kit had not read So eventually Kit told Ty that he should just start reading from the beginning. Ty had been delighted by that and got to work right away on reading to him every Sherlock book he had. Kit discovered that Sherlock Holmes was actually pretty good, he had been worried he wouldn't like it in which case listening to Ty read the entire series to him would have been a nightmare. Sure it was no Lord of The Rings, but then again Kit had never finished reading that one either.

Ty's face brightened and he straightened up looking rather animated for him.

"Yes actually, I brought it with me, and the next volume just in case…" Ty started, his hands now moving in excitement rather than frustration. Excitement that was spreading to Kit.

" Well we better get started then." Kit laughed taking the lead to open up the door to Ty's room and headed inside.

He would sleep, _eventually._


	11. To Summon The Wicked Powers

**Thank you everyone who has stuck with this story and enjoyed it! This is my first ever completed fanfiction and boy am I gonna miss Kit and Ty!**

 **P.S. If anyone wants a song to accompany this chapter I'd suggest Forgive and Forget by A Day to Remember.**

Kit woke up early the next morning. It was still dark outside as Kit made his way to Ty's he was just afraid that Ty wasn't there after all, and yesterday had all been a dream, or maybe his nerves about the Scholomance testing were finally catching up with him. Kit hesitated at the door, Ty wouldn't be awake yet he knew. Ty had a very strict schedule he followed and even though he seemed to be adjusting well to the Academy he probably appreciated keeping as much of his routine as he could intact. An image from a nightmare he hadn't had in a long time was still stuck in the back of his head as he closed his eyes. A nightmare he had again for the first time in years.

But he _needed_ to see him.

Kit knocked on the door lightly still not sure if disturbing him was the best idea, but no answer came.

"Ty, can I come in?" Kit whispered, but there was still only silence. Curious, Kit tried the handle and to his surprise it opened with a small click. That was really odd, Ty wouldn't have left his door unlocked in a strange place. In fact he remembered Ty locking it behind him last night. Kit cracked open the door slightly and peered inside the dark room, it was completely empty save for the furniture and the few personal things Ty had brought with him, everything already unpacked and put into a color coded order around the room. Kit walked into the room flipping on the light switch wondering where Ty would be at this hour, if everything was alright and if he should just wait here for him. He wandered over to the desk, it had a spread of papers laid out and a familiar notebook Kit had seen Ty write in a number of times. He must have been working on something, Kit thought to himself as he flipped open the notebook casually. He had expected to see notes related to what may be on the Scholomance test or maybe even an entry on the fungal demon they had just found. But Kit wasn't sure _what_ he was looking at. In the notebook was a complicated looking diagram with phrases circled and underlined such as:

" _Bronze to summon the wicked powers.._.'

" _The children of Mannan..."_

" _Death of The Kingdom of The Sea...'_

Kit ripped through the pages now, his face bent down inches from the book. On one page he found an impressive appendix of all his references for his research, and what was on the bottom of the list made his heart plummet into his stomach.

… _." The Black Volume."_

" _Annabel."_

He felt himself move mechanically now as he sifted through the papers as if he was very far away merely watching what was happening as a spectator. He didn't want to make the obvious connection to what was going on but the next thing he picked up was too damning of evidence to ignore. It was one of the printed out sheets of paper that had been stuffed inside the notebook. It was an image that must have been taken from a cell phone. The picture was of a page from a book and from what Kit could make out from the writing and graphic pictures, it was without a doubt from the Black Volume. Kit felt his world fall away around him as the realization dawned on him.

"You were supposed to be asleep." Ty was standing in the doorway his face turned away from him, his expression unreadable. In his hand was a small book Kit had seen once in Catarina's study, and he doubted very much she agreed to let him borrow it at three in the morning.

"You didn't come here to join the Scholomance.." Kit said flatly.

"Not exactly, I needed the resources." Ty shifted uncomfortably. Realization was settling in slowly. The real reason Ty was so seclusive after Livvy's death, the reason he hadn't reacted the way he thought he would. A range of emotions began flooding through him, fear, confusion and anger.

"You were planning this from the beginning, since she died, you never wanted to go to the Scholomance, you're going to try to bring her back." Kit rounded on Ty waiting for him to say something, to tell him he had it wrong, his panic rising when he didn't."Ty that's necromancy! Even I know how dangerous that is!" Kit felt his silence like a knife to his heart. He felt his whole perspective of their friendship shift.

"You lied to me. You've been lying to me for years." His voice was shaking, a profound hurt pierced him in a way that only a betrayal by someone you loved could hurt you.

"I didn't want to lie to you." He said quietly, now his expression did change, to that of deep despair Kit hadn't seen in a long while. But it wasn't enough this time.

"What was all of this for Ty? Why did I come here?" Kit was shouting now, he felt used.

"How could you do this to me? Hide this from me and then..then _you sent me away!"_ Kit walked up to Ty and slammed the door behind him making him jump. He wanted him to look at him, he knew Ty wouldn't, but he wanted him to see what he had done to him. There would be no running away this time, for either of them.

"You did this for yourself, you said so yesterday." Ty stated finally facing Kit. His hands were clenching and unclenching at his side, but he was steady as if he had been preparing for this for along time. And he probably had, Kit thought, he probably knew how Kit would react when the truth came out, but he kept it a secret anyway.

"How can you be so...!" Kit stopped himself short, he wouldn't call Ty stupid, he would never do that no matter how angry he was. But it didn't matter Ty flinched, expecting the insult that Kit held back from hit Kit as he saw the implications of what he had almost said.

"I did it for _you._ Everything's been for you." Kit said quieter now but with more desperation. Ty opened his mouth and closed it taken aback from the outburst. His shoulders sagged and his face crumpled, it was obvious this dilema had been weighing on him for along time.

"I don't need you to protect me Kit, but I do need you to help me get Livvy ." It sounded like a plea, and it almost broke him to hear him sound like that.

"Dont." Kit's voice came out strangled. He would have given him anything he wanted but he couldn't give him back Livvy. That was it after all, there had ever only been enough room for his twin, either in life or in grief, and if he could give her back to him he would. But he couldn't.

"I thought you would understand, I know how you felt about her." He looked genuinely confused now, confusion that spread quickly to Kit.

"She was my friend of course I miss her! But if you think for one second I would trade you for her you're insane Tiberius Blackthorn." Kit was very close to losing it now, the inevitable finally at hand. He could feel it in his gut, the words on the tip of his tongue. Ty looked shocked as if what Kit had said was news to him somehow, as if he hadn't always been able to see right through him..

"I'm not asking you to trade my life for hers, It's not like that." Ty said regaining his composure.

"Yes it is, you're asking me to help you do something that might risk your life. Ty, these things never end out well. Don't you remember Annabel? Do you want to turn Livvy into something like that?" Kit was suddenly reminded of the phantom version of Livvy his nightmares had haunted him with, and imagined a real life version. Like his nightmares had really been some kind of sick premonition all along.

"It won't end up like that, I know what I'm doing, and I didn't send you away, I wouldn't do that. I want you with me." He added quietly. His knuckles turning white as he dug his nails into his skin. Kit ran his hands through his hair and turned away from him pacing around now. He knew Ty was serious, you could never dissuade him from something once he had to decided to do it. Kit had heard the horror stories of the idiot mundane or warlock who dabbled in necromancy, how the bodies were unrecognizable afterwards. It filled him with an irrational panic, like this was their last stand before he lost him forever.

"Ty, damn it! I'm in love with you, you can't ask me to do this." Kit turned to face Ty again. His face was wretched, letting all the pretenses he had been using as a mask for so long fall away, exposing him. Ty's eyes widened and for the first time in along time he lifted his gaze to meet Kit's.

"What?" Ty's voice was shakey like it was the last thing he wanted to hear. Kit sat down on the edge of his bed, his head in hands. Why was he saying this now? The last thing he needed to do was scare him away.

"Look, it's not important, I just-" Suddenly Ty was standing in front of him.

"Kit." His voice was tight, strained in a way Kit had never heard it before. He looked up tilting his head up when Ty's lips collided with his. For a moment they were both perfectly still, Ty unsure of what to do next waiting for Kit to respond, and Kit sat stock still in shock. His heart stopped for a long moment then all at once started hammering against his chest. Kit had heard that when you kissed someone for the first time it was like fireworks. Their first kiss was like spell work, but this was an explosion. As soon as his heart restarted Kit's hands reached out and grabbed Ty's hair pulling him in force and Ty responded in kind. Ty's hands gripped the front of Kit's shirt trying to pull him closer. Their lips moved gradually with more fever. Kit was grabbing every part of Ty he could, his shoulders, the back of his neck, his hips, anything.

"...Kit…" Ty whispered shaking, he rested his head on Kit's forehead then began tracing his lips down his jawline and down his neck.

"I didn't think..you could like me like that." Ty's voice was breathy somewhere near Kit's ear making him shudder.

Kit laughed, resting his head on Ty's chest pulling him onto his lap, Ty's chin resting on the top of his head.

"Ty, the first time I saw you I thought you were beautiful and every moment afterwards I thought you were extraordinary." Kit said with a bewilderment that Ty could think anything different. Ty wrapped his arms around Kit again hugging him to him with so much force it was painful, Kit let out a small gasp at the pressure. Ty let go immediately alarmed, he often forgot that other people didn't require as much pressure as he did. But Kit grabbed his arms and pulled him towards him finding his lips once again. Kit knew he shouldn't do this, that he should stop and make Ty listen to reason. If he got carried away now he would never be able to say no to him, and if he didnt he could lose him forever.

Leaning into the other boy, Ty suddenly found himself on top of him as the force of their kiss pushed him down onto the bed. For a moment they broke apart. Ty stared at Kit's face flushed and breathing heavy, he looked as if he was falling apart and Ty couldn't understand didn't want to see pain on Kit's face ever again, he wanted to fix what he had broken. Ty swallowed hard and leaned down to kiss Kit again this time his hands sliding up underneath Kit's shirt, his hands were shaking but he could never imagine wanting anything more then how he wanted Kit right now. Kit ran his hands up Ty's arms, his shaking hands automatically relaxing under Kit's touch. Kit found Ty's shoulders and pulled him down ontop of him, feeling their bodies collide. Ty rolled over onto his side pulling Kit with him, entangled in one another as they desperately clung to each other. The heat had taken over again, clouding his head of better judgments, all he could think of was Ty underneath him, feeling him, touching him…

Suddenly the fog was lifted, and his sanity returned as Kit found himself leaning over Ty, his fingers trying to unbutton the top of Ty's jeans. Kit froze, what was he doing? Should he really be doing this? Was he ready for this, more importantly was Ty ready for this? Kit lifted his gaze to look at Ty, his fists clenched grabbing the sheets, his eyes closed in concentration, sweat beaded down from his forehead and Kit wasn't sure if it came from what they had been doing or from all the overwhelming amount of stimuli he must be feeling. Kit dropped his hands and let his head droop onto Ty's shoulder and just let himself fall ontop of the other boy clutching himself to Ty. The two were silent for awhile listing to the pounding of each other's hearts, their erratic breathing slowly steadying.

"I love you too." Ty said finally, breaking the silence. Kit lifted his head off Ty's shoulder slightly so he could see Ty's face.

"I wish I knew that when I kissed you years ago." Kit said with a small brushed his lips carefully against Ty's collar bone. He wanted to kiss him again, and yet even though they were just locked in a passionate makeout session, now that they had calmed down Kit felt strangely shy again, as if he half expected Ty to suddenly come to his senses and reject him.

"Well, you running away afterwards was a little confusing." He reasoned, his eyes darting back and forth as he counted the dots on the ceiling. Kit rolled over on his back now, as he thought of how to explain his actions from so long ago.

"I guess...I just wasn't dealing with Livvy's death, I was so scared of what she might think of how I felt about you, and I just tried to rationalize what she would want that I….I'm not making sense." Kit frowned, rubbing his temples.

"I get it. I saw you two kiss, I know how you felt about her." Ty said in his matter of fact tone that made it hard for Kit to tell if Ty was bothered by the fact he had kissed his twin or not.

"You saw that? I thought- Nevermind it's not important. Ty it wasn't what it seemed like, she asked me to kiss her." Kit propped himself on his elbows to look over at Ty.

"Because you liked each other. He said as if what Kit was saying reaffirmed that. "Right?" He asked after a moment, his eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"No, I think she just wanted to know what it was like to kiss someone, and I thought it was a good idea at the time." Ty turned to look at Kit, his eyes focused on a spot just below his neck, confusion still plain on his face.

"I was lonely I guess." Kit tried to explain and answer Ty's unasked question. "We talked about it later and decided that we didn't want a relationship like that. The point is.." He said letting out a sigh. "Livvy didn't like me like that, and I never felt anything for her like I've felt for you. I've never felt anything like I have for you before." He finished feeling a blush returning to his face. Ty's face broke into a rare brilliant smile that Kit couldn't help returning when he saw it.

Ty began to fiddle with Kit's shirt collar, feeling the material between his fingers. His smile slowly fading.

"Me neither, but Livvy...Livvy was my twin." He looked like he was having trouble finding the right words to explain.

"I know, Livvy was important to me too. I've never really had real friends before you and Livvy. You don't need to explain, I miss her too." He still did miss Livvy, and he knew Ty of course would have a hard time moving past her death. But still, he had hoped he could have been the one to help him move on.

"Kit...I have to get her back. I- I can't do this without Livvy." Ty whispered.

"You _have_ me." It was worse knowing he wasent enough then when he had just thought Ty didn't return his feelings.

"I know I do, I've always known that. Julian would try to stop me if I told him what I was doing...But you'll stay with me right?" It was a question Kit had always thought he had the answer to before, one that he had told him just the day before. But now he had a different answer, and it was going to break both of their hearts. Slowly, Kit pulled himself up into a sitting position away from Ty. Ty's expression was unreadable as usual, but Kit knew him well enough to know what the darting of his eyes meant. His mind was working in overdrive as he tried to figure out what Kit was about to do.

Kit took a deep breath preparing himself. "I'm not...I'm not going to sit back and let you do this." He said finally, surprised how steady his voice came out. Ty's eyes flickered up to his before darting away again, pulling himself up and letting his hair fall in his face, hiding away from Kit.

"If you wont help me I'll do this on my own." As Ty made to get up and leave Kit saw a flash of his eyes, and Kit wished he hadn't. He didn't want to see how he hurt him, what was worse, was that it wasn't over yet. Not by a long shot.

Ty was almost out the door before Kit spoke up again. "No you won't, because I'll stop you." Ty stood in the doorway unmoving, letting the silence fall between them, before finally he walked out letting the door close behind him.

God, Kit wished it was over.

 **Sorry the ending is sort of melancholy but Its how I feel the story should end its where i feel their relationship will be at the end of QoAaD though i have faith they will move past it. Maybe if I ever get more ideas Ill write a happier kitty fic.**


	12. New Story Update!

A few people have asked me to continue this fanfic, and even though I had no intention at the time mostly due to the fact that this was the intended ending as well as a lack of ideas to move forward. I have now decided to make a sequel series for anyone who would like to see where Kit and Ty would go from here. You can find on this site the the name of it is:

 **The Defeated and Despaired.**

How far will it go? I dont know, it depends on if you guys enjoy it, hopefully everyone who had wished to read more of this story will enjoy it.


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